.
.
.
I got my first rejection letter from the university I wanted to go to. The closest friend I had told me that he was only tolerating me, and couldn't stand being close friends with me. This week, I have three tests and two quizzes, and just when the load lightens, there's more being added on. I'm being ridiculed in my own house for my choices, and I feel like there's no place to turn too. I feel as if the closest people I had to my heart, don't want me. I feel as if they just turn me away and tell me to fend off in the world by myself. I feel so betrayed, upset, and I honestly don't want to talk to anyone because they don't understand me like he understood me. I feel like there's no one I can turn too anymore.
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." [Isaiah 43:1b-2]
God reminds me so intimately that I am his. I am his child. Lately, these thoughts have been running through my head. Why am I not good enough to get into the program I want? Why am I not good enough for him to actually call me a friend? What do his friends have that I don't? Why can't I ever please anyone? Why do I feel so alone? Why don't my guy friends understand? Why does he, the closest person I thought I had, think of me as a nuisance? Does my friendship bother him that much?
As these thoughts run on, they become more negative. But God is beside me, whispering so lightly that He's there for me. He tells me, no matter which river or what fire comes down on me, He will be there. Comfort is not asking for miracles or knowing everything will be alright; it's knowing you're not alone.
.
.
.
Never forget in the darkness, what you know to be true in the light.
No comments:
Post a Comment