TBA

confused? uncertain? I know I am. I don't know why I'm going through the things i'm going through. Why am i dealing with loneliness, why am i fighting these certain struggles and problems. It might be the same for you. That you're going through certain things may it be a broken family, cutting or other addictions. I know that i myself don't want to be struggling with this. I've struggled with temptations and sins for years now, and its frustrating that i haven't permanently become victorious. But while looking through stuff, deciding on what to talk about today, i decided to talk about Proverbs 16:4.

"The Lord has made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble."

Everything we struggle with, everything that happens each day, good or bad, a pain or a celebration, the people we meet, all has a purpose.

During Earth Hour tonight, I got to sit down and chat with my parents. But to be honest, it felt more forced. But as time went on, we started to talk about family. There's this TV show on right now called "Who Do You Think You Are" and it explores celebrity guests as they travel around the world, discovering their family tree and the genealogy behind it, uncovering secrets, and surprises about the past. Talking to my mom about it, she talked about her mom, my grand mother, and how her grandmother (my great grandmother) was a single family. It was tonight where she realized that my grandmother was raised in a single-parent family, and how it applies to today. Hearing about the past, about what was and what came to be, it can be seen as God's plan. Im not exactly sure how it was apart of the plan, but for instance, my grandmother (raised in a single parent family) could chat with others who also are facing the same issues, and can provide comfort, and words to share with generations down the line. Decades ago, when my grandmother was raised, she probably didn't understand why she was alone, why she didn't have a dad, but its possible that generations later, she realizes that this is why.

Same goes for you and me. Why am i struggling with this, why is that apart of our lives. But there is a reason. There is a purpose. Don't give up. God has a plan for you, and if you give up, he cannot use you to your greatest potential.

⁹ In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the LORD establishes their steps.

Proverbs 16:9

Don't Judge.

As i was surfing the web i stumbled across this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZ_i3yioHlo

It's basically about how much this little girl loves her brother who has down syndrome. He was adopted and at first the people at the orphanage home said that they couldn't take him home because he has down syndrome. After some paper work they were able to bring him home. And he's loved by his sister very much.

After watching this video it just warmed my heart. Seeing this little girl loving her brother made me realize why can't i do that? I realized that i sometimes judge people because of what they look like or whether or not they're 'normal' or not.

Everyone has their own personality and we should accept everyone for who they are (:

Be Prepared

Romans 5:1-11
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I remember when I did my baptism interview, the last question I was asked was, "If this was your last day on Earth, where will you end up?" I also remember my questionable answer, "Heaven?" and the convicted answer my Pastor encouraged me to give, "Heaven." The skepticallity [NOT A WORD, BUT NOW IS 'CAUSE I'M AWESOME] I had at that point didn't bother me until today. Obviously I know I do believe in Jesus and that I am a follower, but I can't help at points think I was a fan of him.


"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, characterful; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." [Romans 5:3-5]


Today, God literally gave me a wake-up call. I got a call bright and early [for a Saturday!] at 9:38AM and my friend said, "Hey. I had a nightmare about you and I couldn't stop thinking about it afterwards. I prayed the entire morning until I couldn't take it anymore and called you. Can we pray?" Ummm...Woah. We prayed and after that I was so overwhelmed that I poured out everything; how March was the worst month for me, my lost friendship with my greatest friend, being sick, TC, car accidents, school, yearbook, university, and so much more. After everything I said, after listening to me rant and rant and rant, he said one thing, "I know. I already knew all this." My head was literally buzzing and I didn't understand. He told me that his entire nightmare was basically a replay of everything I told him. 


"For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!" [Romans 5:10]


Throughout this month, I can honestly, and not proudly, say that I have been far from God. And he knew. My friend knew. He suggested I spend an hour praying with God [truthfully, I only prayed for 25 minutes, but at that point, I poured out everything already] and like I said in the video I sent to encourage him and his fellowship, "have a heart to heart with God." He told me that God was already with me this entire time; I just didn't see. And he also jokingly [but seriously] told me God spoiled me a lot. He even sent this vision[?] to him to just bug him to the point where he had to talk to me, and God knew I would listen if it was from this friend.


Even when I rejected and shunned God, thinking I would be fine this month if I kept everyone at arm's length, he still loves me. Even before I knew him, he still loves me. Even before I was born, he still loves me. And he still loves me despite the fact this month was horrible, and I felt like no one knew me; he did. He stated in this passage that rarely people would did for a righteous man, a good man maybe, but an enemy? He did, and at the end of the day, when we die, where would we go?


We can prepare all we want. We prepare for university by getting everything ready, buying textbooks and learning about the new clubs we can join to meet new people. We prepare for a party by buying the food, drinks and setting up the PS3 or Wii. We prepare for exams by studying, making notes and reviewing everything we learned in the past semester or year. Yet at the end of the day, which preparations really matter?


The one for Heaven.


This entire month, I can say I wasn't at prepared at all. But after that reconciliation I had with God, after that prayer and confession and heart to heart, I'm ready. 


When you die, where will you go? 


Are you prepared?

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If death comes today, will you be prepared to meet God?

"I volunteer as tribute"

During the reaping in District 12 Prim was chosen to be a part of the Hunger Games. It's all up to life or death. Survival of the fittest. As Prim was walking towards the stage her sister said these words:"I volunteer as tribute." This means that she's willing to risk her life to save her sisters.

Have you ever had a friend who you'd die for ? Do anything that they could ever imagine. Jesus came down to earth to sacrifice his life for us. Similar to Katniss, she was willing to sacrifice herself just for her sister.

It's just still so overwhelming to me that Jesus was willing to sacrifice himself and go through all that torture just for you and I. It's incredible.

Are you willing to sacrifice yourself for someone? If so who?

Who Do We See?

Luke 19:1-10
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Imagine you're sitting in a class when your teacher suddenly announces, "Attention class! We have a new student today. Please treat them with the utmost respect." The individual walks in and you look at them, up and down. What do you think? What do you see? Will you judge them based on what they look like? What brands they wear? How they dress? 


Think about it. Deep down, we all judge people at one point or another. First impressions are made within the first five seconds of meeting someone, and that includes the way they appear or dress to you. Our view on individuals around us ultimately determines how we treat them. We treat our best friends better than our classmates, and our families better than strangers, right? 


The same thing happened in Jericho to a man named, Zacchaeus. People judged him by the way he dressed and the job he had. Obviously since he's a tax collector, he'll be wealthy due to the money he cheated people out of, and had a lavish lifestyle. Yet when he saw Jesus, he proclaimed;


"Look Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount." [Luke 19:8]


To this, Jesus replied;


"Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost." [Luke 19:9-10]


Even though he was someone society hates from the outside, due to his meeting with Jesus, he had a change of heart. Despite the fact he may be still the same appearance wise, who are they to judge if he had a change of heart? Yes, he may still have that lavish lifestyle and wealthy clothing, but he wants to give back to the poor and cheated.


When we look at someone, who do we see? Someone who is lost and in need of Jesus, or an individual who does not deserve our attention? And which of our option shows that love that Jesus spoke about?

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Those who have been found should seek the lost.

pas un cercle.

In french class, we're reading "Le Petit Prince" which explores the life of a curious prince, who travels from planet from planet hoping to make friendships and just explore.

He one day lands on asteroid 327 where he meets a drunkard. He learns that the drunkard is going through a cycle, of shame, then he drinks more, then he feels shameful for drinking, and he drinks more, and its a non stop, never ending cycle. We discussed in class about many cycles in our society. Simple things we deal with everyday, we say we dont have time, and then we procrastinate, and then we complain we dont have time, and we continue to procrastinate. We can also take it on a global level with pollution. As the selfish world we are, if we want energy, or if we want anything, we get it. And through the production of this, we produce CO2 and other toxins released into this planet. We want more, we continue to destroy the earth more and more because of what we want.

As a person who has been a follower of Christ for most of my life, i think its very very easy for us to fall into a cycle, into a routine, whether it may be prayer, devotionals, church or fellowship. Its very easy to go because you have to go. We have to always carry a spark and burning desire for following our God. I know that i have many times, just done devotions because i had to.

Our relationship with Christ is not a cycle. Its not just a bunch of works/actions we do. There more to it. Like a friendship, or a relationship, there is no formula, repeated process in it. You dont always have a candle light dinner at 7pm on thursday nights, you make it new, make it special and different. Our commitment with Christ is special, is unique, and is important. Dont make it apart of our daily cycle.

³⁷ Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the first and greatest commandment.

Matthew 22:37-38

Commitment.

I'm currently on 4 sports teams at school. It takes a lot of commitment to do all these things. Staying late after school just to train, waking up early to train, and eating healthy to stay fit. I sometimes feel like I've been too committed with these sports and I'm not committed to live a Godly life.

It's hard to stay focused when other things are in the way. Tournaments, practices, and competition. Sometimes i get caught up in the hype of another tournament i feel like i just try to rely on myself. I know that i can't do it all by myself and God is the one who created me to have the ability to do this. If I'm able to stay committed to these sports then I'm able to be committed to God.

Staying committed to one thing is hard. So always start with one thing.

Trust Me

Psalm 121
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I hate water. Not like drinking water, but large bodies of water such as oceans, lakes and swimming pools. The fact is, I can't swim. I almost drowned twice, in a public pool, and neither times did the life guard see me. So obviously after that, I've had a bad relationship with community pools. 


I do remember this one time where I was having a sleep over back in seventh grade, and my friend's sister offered to take us someplace fun. She took us to the community center to, you guessed it, swim. I told her my predicament and she told me she would teach me since she's a life guard. Entering the pool, the water was already near my neck at the shallow end. As I walked deeper, the water rose and eventually, I couldn't feel the floor anymore. I began to panic, but she grabbed my arm and told me, "Trust me. You're not going to drown. I'm holding onto you." Despite the fact I utterly failed at attempting how to swim, her guidance and calm exterior was the reason why I didn't panic while I was in the pool with her. 


Sometimes, we feel like we're drowning in life's worries or sinking into depression or whatever situation waves can push you into. We feel like we have no one to turn too and we're in this body of water alone.


"The Lord will keep you from all harm-he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore." [Psalm 121:7-8]


We don't need to worry, because no matter what, God is always by our side, holding our arm and telling us to trust him. He will never let us go despite the fact that we might; but guess what? God's grip on us, is stronger than our grip on him. No matter what happens, we will never be apart from him. Praise the Lord!

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Before your burden overcomes you, trust God to put His arms underneath you.

broken, fragmented

Easter is fast approaching, and we have to take the time to reflect on our Saviour's sacrifice. Christ was beaten, battered, spat on, speared, cussed at, all the horrible, painful things one could ever imagine. He bore all that for us. He took on the sin of the world, the sin of mankind upon his shoulders and on the cross. WE were the ones that nailed him to that cross.

He was broken for us. But he made us whole.

Without him, our lives have no purpose, because of God he has made me who i am now, with a reason on this earth, with a specific route and plan for my life. He's given me people who i can be accountable with, people who support and love me. To bind us, unifying us, and making us whole. It is through Christ we have come together. Praise God.

As Easter comes along, think about who he went through for us, and what he has done for us by doing so.

²³ For I pass on to you what I received from the Lord himself. On the night when he was betrayed, the Lord Jesus took some bread ²⁴ and gave thanks to God for it. Then he broke it in pieces and said, “This is my body, which is given for you. Do this to remember me.”

1 Corinthians 11:23-24

Confrontation.

Being honest with your friends can be difficult.

It's something that we need to talk to God honestly. You may not like it but he's always there for you.

Tonight was a rough night. I had no idea what reactions i'd get or what feelings i'd feel. Letting it all go felt like a burden was lifted off my shoulders.

I took the guts to confront someone. It was hard but it all came out.

It's similar to us and God. Sometimes we want to tell God something that he doesn't want to hear.

He may not like what we are going to say to him but in the end it's all out of love.

One Beautiful Moment

Isaiah 40:6-11
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"A photograph is worth a thousand words." Have you ever heard of that expression? Have you ever just looked at a photograph and was left speechless of the beauty and awe of it? Nature is one of God's tools to just show the beauty of the Earth he has created. For example, a breathtaking sunset with dashes of gold, amber, and colours of flames against a shimmering ocean. To think about it, this is only a moment of time. Many other times, these moments, these tiny snapshots of beauty, are missed by us. Only sometimes are they captured for eternity within a single photograph. Many times, these breathing, speechless moments of  beauty are missed by us, and only seen by God. God sees everything; things we cannot see, he sees.


"The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever." [Isaiah 40:8]


Just like a sunset, humans are also here for a moment before we vanish. We came from dust; and we leave as dust. To us, life seems like years and years, but in reality, it's barely a blink of an eye for God. We need to use our lives and to show God's beauty through us; we are only alive because of the breath God has breathed into us and let us rejoice in that fact we have a part of God everywhere we go. Let us proclaim to the world, "Behold, here is your God!" with ours lives. We are only a snapshot of beauty; let's use it to share God's beauty.

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We fulfill our purpose when we serve our Creator.

Shelter.

Psalm 27:5

For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.

We often have our ups and downs in our relationship with peers, family, relatives, etc. God's always been there for you no matter how many times you might have doubted him.

Whenever you feel troubled our sick do you have something that you always turn to? We should learn to turn to God whenever we are feeling troubled or down. Imagine his arm's wrapping around you. He's holding you, protecting you, surrounding you, covering you with love. No matter what you do or where you go, God will be with you. He's your shelter.

sunlight sweep

Coming home today, I realized something which i somewhat made into an analogy, and i just wanted to share it with you all.

I've heard many many times people ask, "how does salvation work for those who wont ever hear the gospel?". Personally, i know that God has a plan for each and every one of us, a perfect, almighty plan with a purpose, with a goal, and with reasons. So I think that no matter where you are, everyone will somehow hear the gospel at least once in their life. God sent his Son to die on the cross for everyone, and everyone is a child of God, so he wont leave anyone out. Like a shepard and his sheep, if one strays off, he will go in search of it until they find it.

So walking home, on this bright and sunny day, i saw the shadow and the sunlight hitting the walls of the houses, and i thought to myself. Sunlight hits everything. The sun encircles the earth, and everyday we see it rise in the east and set in the west, you watch the shadows move, and eventually, everything is hit and touched by the rays of light.

Like the world, every single person is touched by the gospel, but there's more to do. Will you take this gift of salvation when you hear about it? Everyone gets the chance, but its up to you to act upon it. No one else can give you that gift and force you to take it. God has handed it out on a silver platter and no one else can make you take it.

The choice is yours.

¹¹ For the grace of God has been revealed, bringing salvation to all people.

Titus 2:11

The Real Thing

1 John 2:3-11
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Have you ever been to Pacific Mall? If you have, you would know how many things sold there are "boot-leg," or for us Chinese people, "fan ban." They look like it's real, they work the same way, but they're artificial. They aren't the real thing.


"But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him. Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did." [1 John 2:5-6]


Just as things can be boot-leg, Christians can be "boot-leg" too. They're called Sunday Christians, or lukewarm Christians. As much as I hate to admit, I was a Sunday Christians for years before I actually began to understand and realize the beauty of the gospel. These Christians look like they're Christians, act like they may be Christians, but once they step outside the church building, they have a completely different lives. Also, when we're lukewarm, we pretend to be with Christ, try to act like we're having a strengthening relationship with him, when ultimately, it's a flat line. A way to examine yourself is to understand whether or not you are lukewarm. Francis Chan's Crazy Love had an entire chapter on it, and it is outlined here [http://bethelgrace.wordpress.com/2008/06/26/are-you-lukewarm/#more-214] if you are interested.


Ultimately, just as Christ lived, we must live the same way. That's how we know we're the real thing. When we abide in God, everything falls into place. 


"Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him." [1 John 2:9-11]


When we love others, we're walking in the light. That means we can see anything that could make us stumble, and be smart and avoid it. When we hate our brother, which means anyone, we are walking in the dark. We cannot see anything that might trip us and cause us to stumble, nor can we see anything at all; we are blind. When we claim to be in the light, we're truly walking in darkness. Although we may act, talk, and seem like a Christian, their efforts will be futile. If it's night-time and you can't see anything, you might pull out your iPhone with the flashlight app, or even a physical flashlight. You can see for a period of time, but when your battery runs out, you're in the dark again. In the same way, when you claim to be a Christian, but is truly lukewarm, you are the same. You can pretend for a certain period of time, but when you're standing in front of the almighty judge, will you still claim to be in him if you do not live the way he did?

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Obedience to God is an expression of our love for God.

endurance!

Everyone has their bad days. Today just so happened to be mine. I felt like the day was going to be okay, but as time passed, things just seemed to get worse. Hearing about 10238 summatives to be scheduled in one week, just that mood of not wanting to work grow, slipping into the traps of the Devil.

Im so glad that i have support and people checking up on me. Its the greatest feeling. I was able to email one of my great friends who i can put my trust in. Just simply having people to vent to and someone to listen is quite the relief.

Endurance. Life was never promised to be an easy breeze. Each and everyday we have to push ourselves forward. Some days may pass easier than others, but life is life. There will be problems, there will be mistakes, there will be flaws, mistakes and struggles, but we must endure.

2 Timothy 4 talks about running this race, this enduring race. It never ends. We are in a constant lifelong battle with the devil. Like it says "⁷ I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful." Can you say that this reigns true in your life and will continue to do so?

We will all slip up. Its okay. But we must repent, turn back to God knowing he's already waiting for you with open arms, in overflowing love for you. Confess and you will be forgiven.

Although my day was messy and thrown around, God has new mercies on us each day, and I promise that i will not fall behind, and will keep running this race until the end for my Lord my God has gave up his son for me. Im grateful and blessed.

1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. ² We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.

Hebrews 12:1-2

Visits.

So today my friend came over to chill for a few minutes unsuspectingly.

He asked me if i was home and the next thing you know, he's sitting on my bed.

Today was such a tiring day that i needed a nap in order to get my work done. Did i get this nap? Nope! I'd have to say that seeing my friend's face totally made my day. This one simple person can do so much. Also, i have to say that I think i've been taking this friend for granted. I went to him whenever i needed help and that was the only time when i would initiate a conversation. Last night, i talked to him bout stuff and it made me realize that he's leaving to go to university so soon so i must take the opportunity to spend more time with him. I learned that we should never take friends for granted. (this post is similar to the one that i did before but in a more positive way)

One simple visit from a friend can make someone's day.

Avenue to Power

2 Corinthians 12:1-10
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Have you ever heard of the passage, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness"? It's from 2 Corinthians 12:9. I've heard it so many times, but have I ever looked at the passages before and after to know the context? Nope. And today's devotion had me in a tight place. I didn't understand the passage! So I Googled it, and it made so much more sense why that passage was placed in there. 


Back in Paul's day, for the Corinthians, visions, revelations and receiving "something" from God was highly valued. They boasted about it, and it was regarded in a high manner. Today's equivalent would be a Ph.D or billions of dollars; you're highly regarded. For Paul, bragging about these things did not matter as long as he spread the gospel. Despite they constantly verbally attacked him about his 'lack of visions' or 'messages from God', they didn't understand. Paul went into third heaven, but he wasn't sure if he was in or out of the body, showing Paul himself isn't completely sure of the details about what happened. All he knows was that he was in the presence of God. 


In verse 7, Paul says "to keep me from becoming conceited," God placed a "thorn in his side." He doesn't specify what this thorn is, but it is known that God made sure this thorn was there in order to humble him. For the Corinthians, they would have blamed it on anyone, not thinking that maybe it was a way for God to humble them in their ministry. 


"Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, For Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak,then I am strong." [2 Corinthians 12:9-10]


Despite whatever Paul went through, he delighted in his weaknesses. That is a lesson we all should learn from him. No matter what, delight in what trials that God has given you in order to strengthen you in your relationship with him and for him to allow you to grow spiritually to lead others. The devotion states beautifully, "In facing our fears and struggles, it’s vital that we yield totally to God. When we do, God can use our problems as an avenue for His power." Let's let God use us to the potential he has given us. 

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Wielding our power is no substitute for yielding our will to God’s power. 

Well With My Soul

I really loved that song we sang today. It is well with my soul. And I think that i realized something today during the sermon. As Christians, we know that once we believe that we are saved, we have been given salvation and when we are done with our purpose on earth, we will be in heaven, a place without pain, tears or suffering for eternity.

I remember during my baptism interview, i was asked the question, "if you were to die now, would you go to heaven or hell?". I remember answering hell, because I knew of the things i've done, and i was never fully sure of the whole forgiveness idea. How do you know if you're really forgiven?

What I realized today in the sermon is that I really am truly saved. I have believed. My name is written in the book of life, and salvation is already mine! I will be going to heaven to meet with my Lord and Saviour, my spot is secured and he has made a place for me. As long as I continue to have faith in Him, and live my life as a pleasing offering to God and not stray away into the things of this world, im saved.

Finally realizing this and truly embracing it, i couldnt help but smile. Singing that song, i can honestly sing and believe the lyrics, that All is Well With My Soul.

¹³ And now you have also heard the truth, the Good News that God saves you. And when you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own by giving you the Holy Spirit, whom he promised long ago. ¹⁴ The Spirit is God’s guarantee that he will give us the inheritance he promised and that he has purchased us to be his own people. He did this so we would praise and glorify him.

Ephesians 1:13-14

3 Stories. 1 God.

It was one hectic Saturday (yesterday). Why? For Sunday school we had to make a video and my group had nothing planned until yesterday and it was due this morning. The moment I got to church i quickly talked to those who were already at church. We brainstormed then came up with an idea. There were 4 topics that we were to chose off of a list that was given to us by the teacher. I already knew what the other group was doing so we combined the rest of the 3 of 4 topics and made one conclusion.

There were 3 stories and here they are:

A girl isn't doing so well in school because she's spending too much time at church and worshiping God. Her parents aren't Christian so it's hard for them to understand how God has changed her life. She's forced to study, study, and study just to receive that 100% on every course. She struggles with trying to evangelize with her parents and then feels disappointed in herself because she has failed to do it.

The second story is about a girl that struggles with fitting in with her peers. She's constantly striving to be more and more 'pretty' to keep up with the trends. She gives into peer pressure by skipping class with her friends. She feels like she's not good enough for God because she has fallen into temptation so many times.

And lastly, this girl has a boyfriend who is a non-christian. She invites her boyfriend to Bible study and he shows up late and doesn't care about anything. They soon get into a fight and break up. Since she failed at evangelizing to him she soon feels that she's also failed the task of spreading the Gospel.

In the end it's not MARKS, FITTING IN, or EARTHLY RELATIONSHIPS that define you but it's your faith that defines you.

God loves you no matter how many struggles you face. It's okay to fail at spreading the Gospel because there may be other opportunities that are open for you.

Shared Space

1 Corinthians 12:12-27
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In the last few weeks, I really learned the true importance of going to fellowship and church regularly. Before this month, you had to fight me to not come to church. Even though I was sick sometimes, I would still force myself to attend church or fellowship. 


In the beginning of March, I went to fellowship for the first week. The second week, I came down with something, and I honestly couldn't drive up. I thought to myself, "Oh, skipping one week is alright." At the end of the night, I received two text messages, one from a sister and another from a brother from AGAPE asking where I was. I was happy to know that two people cared about whether or not I attended fellowship.


The following Saturday, my illness got worse. But Saturday night, I was determined to go to church the next day so I slept early and whatnot. In the morning, I felt downright horrible and honestly couldn't bring myself to go. I was unmotivated and decided to stay home. The next Friday, after skipping two days of church, I honestly felt unmotivated to attend fellowship. I received no text message that night. The next week, I skipped fellowship again.


I thought to myself, I used to had to be tied down if I had to skip church, but now I just don't care if I went or not. I felt my relationship with God slowly turn lukewarm. Church and fellowship was a weekly reminder of the commitment I made when I got baptized, yet I couldn't bring myself to realize that. Now, I'm pretty lethargic about attending church and I realized my lack of attendance is the cause. I felt that I wasn't needed at the church. I'm not a leader, nor on worship team. Why does it matter?


"But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it." [1 Corinthians 12:18-20, 27]


After reading this passage, I realized that despite the fact I felt I was of no importance at church, God felt I was important because I'm part of the body of Christ! I might not be on stage, or leading, but I am a part of this body, and if one part suffers, so does the rest. When I did return, I heard many say, "I haven't seen you in so long!" It made me realize that no matter what, I am part of this body, and I do matter. We don't work better alone; we work better as one body. 

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Fellowship builds us up and binds us together. 

admirable move.

"may the odds be ever in your favor"

Happy Hunger Games everyone! I was lucky enough to have been able to go watch the exciting film with my fellow AGAPE friends tonight, and what a movie. There are so many things i can say about it, but there's something else i want to address. This whole process started a month ago (i think) when we booked tickets and reserved an entire row. Everyone was so excited and hyped up for it and there were so many people that wanted to come as well, but we couldnt get all of them to come with because they asked too late. My post today is titled admirable move because two things happened that I've been thinking about a lot lately.

First off, this week, I was talking to the friend who booked all the tickets for us, who I am so thankful for and i was asking her if she was excited, and she told me she wasnt going... I was so curious as to why she wasnt going to come with us, and it turns out that she gave her ticket away. I was stunned. Absolutely stunned. How could someone so generously give away their ticket like that? It was opening weekend, it was with 12 other friends, it was gonna be one heck of a night! And she gave it up for one of the newcomers to our fellowship. Wow. I couldnt believe it. Admirable Move.

Second, since she didnt come, she gave all the tickets to her friend who came with us today. And since she had all the tickets, she had to give them to us as we came in. I remember, it was 7:25 and they needed to go to the washroom, so i happily took their place, and as I waited, i realized the movie was going to start in 5 mins, and with 6 other tickets, i started to get impatient. One of the six friends came, and when the two friends came back from the washroom, i was ready to go inside. As the commercials went, and as the movie started, they two girls still didnt come in yet. Again, i thought to myself, wow, they're giving up the time and money they spent to watch this movie, and because they took on the role as the "ticket giver", they took it on with full seriousness and commitment. They waited outside and came in 5 mins into the movie. Another admirable move.

Reflecting on it, I realized how selfish I was. I dont think I could have done it if I were in their place. I honestly admire how sacrificial and selfless they were. Thinking about it, thats exactly what God did, but instead of giving up a movie ticket to see the hunger games, he gave up eternal happiness, a kingdom, a throne, and his only son for us. Even in the movie, Katniss sacrificed and risked her life to save what was important to her, her friends. Thats the most admirable move of them all.

verse of the day: John 15:13

¹³ There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

Friends For Granted.

It's easy to say that you'll be best friends for life but is it easy to keep your word for it?

I have a friend who i thought our friendship would actually last till we died but did it? Nope. Not at all. It was hard to accept the fact that our friendship was over. I didn't realize how special he was until he left. The times we had together i feel like i could have treasured but i didn't. I just took this friend for granted.

We may often think okay i'll see you tomorrow. Just another day has gone by with the same people, same plans. Have you ever stopped and thought of what would happen if all your friends disappear? Will you regret anything?

Spending each and every moment with your friends is very important. I really do regret taking my friend for granted. I didn't understand what was going on in my head when i look back now.

To Gaze Upon the Lord

Psalm 27:4
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For today's devotion, I was distressed. I did something totally stupid and I keep slapping myself mentally over and over again for it. Let me explain:


1) After chilling with my friends at Fairview, I drove them to the YMCA they were breaking at. The thing with the YMCA is that there are these black and yellow bar, the one that raise up and down and allow cars to pass. I thought since it was open, one of the exit ones would be open too. As I dropped them off, I realized I couldn't get out. Once the car in front of me swiped their card and the gate opened, I sped off, hoping to make it.


I didn't.


The bar came down right on my car and I felt like crying. This lady saw my predicament and came and swiped her card for me. Despite the fact I was saved, I was beeped at and cursed at. I felt horrible. I felt stupid. I felt like I disappointed God and disappointed my parents. What would make me think I could make that?! The bar fell down on me and what if they saw the security camera and came after me? I don't know, but what I do know is that I would never do that again.


2) As I was on the highway, I needed to exit and quickly signaled for a while. I saw an opening in the lane and checked the back. The car behind was slightly far so I decided to go for it. Once I did, they beeped at me and I felt really bad. I guess they didn't think I had enough space and I probably made them break really quickly.


3) Due to everything, I was already in a bad mood. I turned to back into the garage and thought about yesterday, when I had so much space between me and my sister's car. So I decided to go in even more, but instead, I "crashed" into my sister's. Bumper to bumper. 


After everything, I checked the car and since it was raining, I couldn't tell if I damaged the car or not. I felt so distressed, stupid, and just...I honestly felt like screaming, "WHY WOULD I DO THAT?! WHY GOD, WOULD YOU ALLOW SOMETHING LIKE THIS TO HAPPEN?! WHY? WHY? WHY?!" I felt like screaming. I felt so utterly stupid. 


"One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple." [Psalm 27:4]


I read this passage and realized, despite how stupid and stupid and stupid I thought I was, and this whole situation was, the only thing on my mind should be God. In the end, this day belongs to God, and everything, despite everything, he still cares. I need to seek God in everything. Even in this predicament. To be honest, I'm scared that they'll hunt me down and say I have to pay for damages, when I know for sure none was made. I'm scared they'll come to my house, or track me down, saying I'm charged with something. But God cares for me, and that should be enough. I don't need to think about how horrible my day was, how many times I screwed up, because God loves me the same.

Today, tomorrow and yesterday. He still loves me no matter how many times I screwed up and how I feel like I'm a nuisance to the world. God loves and cares for me. He does. He does. He does. 

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If God cares for sparrows, He surely cares for us. 

Something to Declare

Matthew 5:13-16
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When you go to the airport, customs usually ask you if you have anything to declare. These include things you bought overseas, or things worth a bit of money that the country can tax you on. This devotion told a story of a Swiss custom agent that was doing just a routinely check-up. The man he was checking said he had nothing to declare, but protocol calls, and when he opened the man's suitcase, he found $1.5 million dollar paintings by Picasso. 


"In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." [Matthew 5:16]


Sometimes we are like that man who was obviously smuggling things into the country. Obviously we can't put a price on our relationship with Christ; it's priceless. Yet sometimes our lives show we have "nothing to declare." But we must declare it to the word! Just like Matthew said, our faith should be like a city on a hill. I didn't understand this until today when I read it. Matthew is telling us, just like this city is unable to be hidden because it's up so high, because it's so visible and large, our faith in Christ should be the same! Everyone should see it. Nothing can hide it. Is our relationship with God like that?


He calls us to let our light shine before men. We can't be like that man and say we have "nothing to declare" to the world! We have something to declare, and let's declare it loud and proud!

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A word well chosen can open a heart to God. 

More.

We were heading to the doctor's today after school and we drove all the way down to Scarborough to meet this doctor, and on the way there, looking out the window, i realized that there was much more. So much more.

I think because im so used to the community and area I live in, i think thats all there is. Like the story with the frog in the well, it looks up and all it sees is the sky is a small circle, but when he climbs out of the well, he then realizes and sees all the more in the world. Today, i remember when passing a school, seeing all the other kids walking home with their backpacks, i realized that there are more people in this world.

By realizing that there's more and more, i started to realize exactly how small we are. I've heard people say this but i've never experienced it or realized it yet, that when they stand next to the ocean, they realize how small they are.

Look up. See the ceiling with the little dots or holes? Imagine that a single one of those dots is our home, earth. Now imagine that one dot, split into 6 000 000 000 other dots. The entire ceiling is the galaxy, and one of the 6 000 000 000 dots within that one dot is you. Can you imagine how small we are compared to the world, the galaxy, but most importantly to God? We are so small, and so incompetent.

Our God is bigger than "the ceiling" he's huge. This is my God, this is OUR GOD.

²⁸ Have you never heard?
Have you never understood?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
²⁹ He gives power to the weak
and strength to the powerless.
³⁰ Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
³¹ But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:26-31

Cleansed.

You are cleansed at his expense.

So this year at Teen's Conference the theme was Cleansed. Here's what i learned !

We are all born as sinful people. No one is perfect (except Jesus). We all make mistakes which stain our hearts. The only way we can get that stain away is not by making more but by asking God for forgiveness. There's no such thing as a 'big' sin or a 'small' sin, it's all equal in God's eyes.

I, personally, have fallen into temptation. I didn't know if God will take me back as a child. I know that he was disappointed. That's when i doubted my faith. It took me a while to get back on the right track with God but in the end i was cleansed. You can too be cleansed.

You are clean, forgiven, beautiful. Tomorrow you may fail, you may let Jesus down, you may become stained by sin. But he is always ready to cleanse, forgive, and restore you. Honesty and confession will keep you this clean.

"Me First"

James 4:1-10
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Lately, my life has been, I think, horrendous. Things have been going wrong, marks haven't been what they should be, friendships are falling apart...and in the end, I can only think about myself. I'm so caught up trying to figure out my own problems, that I shove everyone else away. And this is the attitude that God warns against.


"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." [James 4:1-3]


God tells us directly the source of our troubles. It's our mentality, our "ME FIRST" mentality. We want to pleasure ourselves first. We want the best for ourselves first. We want good for us first, before good for others come to our minds. Verse 4 even tells us this kind of mentality draws us away from God, ruining our relationship with him. Now that we know how destructive this kind of thinking is, what do we do?


First, we must...


"Submit yourselves, then, to God." [James 4:7]


After that...


"Come near to God and he will come near to you." [James 4:8]


And due to all this,


"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." [James 4:10]


Let's put God first.

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When you forget yourself, you usually start doing something others will remember. 

Hello, My Name is: Friend

There are so many times I know that i've felt lonely, uncared for, and like an outcast. Friends, sure and yes i have friends but only a rare few are the ones i can truly talk to and can call "BFF"s if you will. Its difficult sometimes, dealing with the loneliness, but thinking and looking ahead towards eternity, I've come to realize that God is THE true friend.

He's always there for you. You dont need to call him, poke him, text him, just say a prayer and he's listening attentively. I know that sometimes i can completely pour out my heart to him when im going through things.

He has this love for you that no one on this earth can ever express. He loves unconditionally, not matter what you're suffering through, no matter how you look, how you speak, or how you dress. He loves each of us because he designed, planned, and created all of us in his image. His love is so great that he died for you. Sacrifice IS love, and his life, the greatest thing anyone can sacrifice, he gave up for you.

You can trust this friend. He'll never backstab you. Everything in this world will fail, will fade, and will corrode. From materialistic things, to friendships and relationships. But this friendship and commitment you make with Christ is forever and eternal.

But there are a few things i think we all struggle with when with this friend we call God. First, the world has become a place where everything is fast, immediate, and we often turn to our friends first because they reply. Whenever i talk to God, there isnt a literal response which provides immediate satisfaction. Also, i think i've talked about this before, but I dont usually feel the connection between his love and the cross because it happened so long ago that it doesnt feel relevant anymore. Lastly is knowing what he wants. I want to know what he wants me to do and what he wants to tell me, but I dont see it, and I cant hear it and its frustrating. Are these flaws of God? No. Its all apart of being a follower of Christ and having faith. Knowing that he is there and believing that his love never fails.

He's the true friend.

When all else fails, he will be the only one to turn to.

But you shouldnt be turning to him WHEN all else fails.

We should be turning to him first and foremost.

¹ See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! But the people who belong to this world don’t recognize that we are God’s children because they don’t know him.

1 John 3:1

9 Years Finally Paid Off.

9 years of praying finally paid off. In grade 2 i became a Christian and at this moment i really wanted my Grandpa to become one too. I didn't know how to speak to him about Christianity because he wasn't very fluent in English and i had no clue on how to explain Christianity to him in Cantonese.

All these challenges were to be overcome but in the end he still accepted Christ, not through me but through another source. My parents went to visit him in Hong Kong and he told them that he had accepted Christ the day before they landed. I honestly have no words for this feeling.

It's just simply amazing. I know that God gave me this task to fulfill and it has been done.

9 years of prayer. 1 heart.

God is so almighty and powerful and he's able to change a man's heart. No matter how long it takes for someone to become a Christian in the end, it'll be an awesome moment when you hear the new because it was for me.