Fears.

You got your fears I got mine. It may be from spiders to failing out of school.

For me, it’s not getting into university. I know why am I thinking about this already? I’m only in grade 11. Yeah yeah I’ve heard all that. But honestly, I don’t know what courses that I’m going to take next year. I don’t have many pre-reqs and it’s just a constant struggle that I’ve been facing. Semester 1 almost at an end. It’s the final push to get all our marks up before exams come.

Math. Who knows what I’m getting now but I know it’s not something that I want. I’ve been trying so hard and every test. Fail. Fail. Fail. Who knows what I’ll get. Possibly a passing grade. Well that’s what I’m hoping for. I don’t know what to say to God except why. WHY ME? My siblings all got 90s in math and then there’s me.

In today’s devos, Rick Warren says: “Your fears reveal where you do not trust God. Today, make a list of your fears, and ask God to help you identify why you have fear in those areas. Then, ask him to help you replace your fears with trust.”

This line hit me hard. I realized that I put my fears in front of God. I didn’t think about how this challenge will benefit me in the future. Trust is a big word. It takes time and accountability to achieve it.