Journey: Guangxi

We focused on anger and forgiveness today. We all get into conflicts, there are always difference in opinions, and just when people don't get along. It often can spark anger, and tension, but thats completely fine, no one ever said that you had to get along with every person you see. But how you deal with it is whats most important.

When there's conflict, there are two main roads we can take.

Bitterness. You can take this conflict and make it anger, you can twist it into revenge, and act upon it. It can get much worse, its practically playing with fire. Whats worse is that when we are bitter when we hold grudges, it doesn't help. It affects us, our relationship with others as well as our relationship with God. It will eat you from the inside out and the bitterness will eventually start pouring out of you.

Forgiveness. God calls us to forgive, continuously, over and over again. When forgiving, you are channelling Christ's love for us, and similar to bitterness or anything in general, as you channel and invest yourself into something more and more, you eventually start to be it and it starts to reflect and pour out of you naturally.

Along the lines of conflict, forgiveness, and bitterness, the next step is repentance. Especially when you've done something wrong. Repentance isn't a formula, some ritual you do, but it is a choice that you make, a change in thinking. When you decide to confess and repent, you acknowledge what you are doing wrong, and you make an effort and change, to stop, to fight it. This allows for growth, and strengthening in your faith and in your character.

On a short terms missions, even every day, we're dealing with problems and people, we must learn to follow Christ, forgive and love. Turn the other cheek.

²⁵ And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

Mark 11:25 

change is coming.

Watching Glee tonight, it's extremely relevant at the moment because the kids at McKindly High are graduating, and they're basically going through the phase at the same time as us. As they await their university responses, as they plan and start to prepare to move out, as they say their final goodbyes and go their separate ways. Tonight's episode really helped me realize the change that was coming and how unprepared I was.

I felt like I am somewhat prepared. I know where i want to go next year, and I'm excited to move out. Like I said in previous posts, all the academic portions I'm prepared and ready to go with, but with friends, family, relationships and people, I'm not ready to say my final goodbyes. I can't help but to think of what the last moment with the people of this stage of life will be like. What will happen our last time, everyone together. I cannot bear to think of how life will be like in a new environment with new people.

Although these people aren't completely gone and cut from my life, but its very probably that certain people will fade, and only the true friends will remain. Who? Maybe people I want, maybe people that will surprise me. Whether or not i like it, this change is coming.

God has a plan. This is something that is very reassuring for me. That he has a perfect and better plan already being incorporated. But as excited I am to see it, and watch it unravel, i know that parts of it do not consist of what I want. For instance, this specific friend, or this particular situation. So I'm scared, while at the same time I'm excited.

What I can do now, is live in the moment and truly treasure all God has blessed me with here and now and continue to move forward from there. The change is coming, most possibly faster than i want.

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 

Jeremiah 29:11 

more tears?

who would've thought there'd be more tears to come today.

Today we had a first small drama practice with a group of friends for ACUPE night, our annual coffeeshop-like event, they decided to remake the chisel video (above) by the skit guys and i was re-watching it beforehand and something just hit me. I had to go upstairs and because i couldn't hold it. Im not sure what it was, but something was tugging at me.

Listening to it carefully, it was exactly what i needed to hear. It was exactly what I was needed to be reminded of.

I am God's original masterpiece. That was the catchline of the video.

I always think lowly of myself, i don't think I'm worthy of anything, i don't think I'm good enough for anything or anyone, i can beat myself down to pulp, but with others, I'm able to encourage, and praise them, but with myself, its the complete opposite. I never have faith in my work, i need so much reassurance, its horrible. Sometimes i think that i've failed at life. To the point where there's no turning back, that i've ruined it.

Junk. I think I'm junk.

In the video, "God" says "you've listened to so many voices for far too long that aren't of me. You think you are junk don't you? You really, really, really, really think you are junk. Listen to me. I don't make junk. What does that say about me."

God doesn't make junk. Thats insulting to him.

I also constantly compare myself to others, and that was something that was needed to be chiseled off. Im always thinking of how people are so great and how I'm not, what they have and what i don't, what I'm missing.

God doesn't make copies.

I can feel all the weight on me. All the dirty nasty things that need to be chiseled off. God needs to come in and do that, but will i let him take over and do i have the faith to let him do what he needs to do? I say yes, but i think there are parts of me that are still resisting.

I am God's original masterpiece.

I am God's original masterpiece. 

I am God's original masterpiece.

And so are you.

¹³ For you created my inmost being;    you knit me together in my mother’s womb. ¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;    your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Psalm 139:13-14 

Journey: Guangxi

Second training. The missions trip is approaching fast actually, I'm leaving early july, so that gives us about less than 3 months before we depart and execute this. Today's training was surrounding the topic of Personality. For unity to happen, we must be able to understand each other and our teams, how we work, who we are as people. So we did a quick test.

There are four animals.

The Lion - the extrovert, task-oriented, strong, direct, but too dictatorial.

The Otter - the extrovert, people-oriented, open and positive, but may talk to much.

The Golden Retriever - the introvert, people-oriented, calm and sensitive, but can get hurt easily

The Beaver - the introvert, task-oriented, has high standards, but is a perfectionist.

I ranked as the golden retriever. And I can totally see it in myself, I'm sensitive, i try my best to sympathize with others, but I can get too sensitive and be hurt easily.

Looking around at the new faces at the training, naturally, there are people i tend to stay closer to, there are people who i judge based on first impressions, for instance there's this one team member who i just am not getting the best vibe from. I feel like we won't mix... and I don't know how to handle it.

We're also in somewhat of an uncomfortable situation. I didn't want to be put in a group with these people, but this team came together from different churches to make up this team. Its another chance to get out of my comfort zone, meet new people, and start new friendships. I have to continue to push myself forward and out there.

During the sharing, they talked about a typical day of the trip. I came to realize that this trip is going to be my longest short term missions so far. OJ Quebec was only 4 days of crazy wake up early, sleep late schedules. Day Camp was two weeks, but it was only most of the day, but on this upcoming trip, we will be up from 6:30am-10pm pretty much everyday for two weeks. In crazy climate and temperatures, with lack of luxury (they said there won't be seated toilets). I wonder how i'll cope. I remember in the past, i've heard these "typical day" talks and them saying that we'll be all exhausted, but honestly i haven't really felt that.

Im guess i'm nervous to work with these new people, i hope that i can mesh well and just open up to them.

¹⁶From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

Ephesians 4:16

Seasons Come And Go.

Genesis 8:22
"As long as the earth endures, seed time and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease."

Every year we have seasons. They always come and go and you can't change the order of it. Summer, Fall, Winter, Spring.

Leaves go through different stages during each season. In the summer it looks beautiful, the trees are all an explosion of colour. The comes fall, when the leaves start to shed off the trees and it goes onto the floor. Then comes winter, leaves are all gone and trees are bare. And finally spring, the moment when all the leaves come back, growing slowly and soon gets beautiful.

It's very similar to our walk with God.
Summer. We feel close to God, warm in his love, growing and bearing fruit.
Fall. It feels as if things are dying, it's getting colder.
Winter. There's a little sign of life but God may feel distance.
Spring. There are new buds and signs of hope, God is moving. And it's a time of promise.

Year after year the seasons follow one another. A sign of God's faithfulness to his people. Spring always follows after winder and nothing will stop that as long as the earth endures.
Just as God maintains the rhythms of the year, he will be faithful to you. He is with you now and will lead you on. Thank God for the spiritual season that you are in now.

Everyone changes and it's a matter of time when we realize that God is the one who does all this.

The Means of Grace

Going through the book "You Can Change" by Tim Chester that my pastor gave me, i came across this, "The Means of Grace" and i just wanted to share my thoughts.

This is basically another way of saying spiritual disciplines, how reinforce your faith. The author prefers "The Means of Grace" and here are the seven.

1. The Bible

- the bible reveals our hearts and Christ's glory

- through the bible we can see what Christ has done, his greatness and his power, his miracle and control.

- the bible is able to cut through you and expose your heart, uprooting the source of our sinful desires and thoughts.

- Psalm 119:11 talks about storing God's word in your heart, and with this power, this truth, we can fight against sin and not fall into Satan's traps.

- "Dont read Scripture everyday as a duty to tick off, but savour the truth of God that it reveals. Read it not to be INFORMED, but to be TRANSFORMED and CONFORMED to the likeness of Jesus."

The Bible is the TRUE TRUTH. I think i've said before, a quote there reading Christian books arent a replacement for the bible. With the Word, we know that each word is truth and is right and is God's voice. Indulge and really KNOW IT and it'll change you from the inside out.

2. Prayer

- we have to realize that God is the only one that can truly change us, and when we do, prayer will become more and more important and powerful in our lives

- "prayer will consume sin, or sin will choke prayer" - J.C. Ryle

- we need to learn to immediately look towards the Father in prayer when we are tempted

I think we're all lacking prayer, but that second point really hit me. Its one or the other. There is no inbetween. Dont fall away from God. Prayer is the only telephone line we have with him. Pray to Him, not only in times of need and suffering, but just anytime. May it be a prayer of thanksgiving, cry, or celebration. Pray with others, pray together. Prayer doesnt have to be get down on your knees and pray, it can be a simple thought and a word.

3. Community

- the church is to be a community of change, where there is support, love, and accountability. no judgement or put downs.

- remind each other, watch over each other, walk with each other, pray for each other, serve together, and learn from each other

Accountability is SO important, and that is what the church should be. We must all individually work hard to be good representatives of our Saviour, of Christ, reflecting his love, his mercy, his grace and his life. Support one another in all things and walk through life holding each other.

4. Worship

- "when we worship God, we're minding ourselves that God is bigger and better than anything sin offers."

- "we sing the truth so that it moves, inspires, stirs, encourages, and so transforms us."

- let God "retune" our hearts through worship

Remember that worship isnt only about singing during that sunday service, you can worship him through anything, and we should worship him through everything. Through speech, through actions, and through thoughts. Continue to keep Christ in mind and you will learn to embody and remember his glory, his greatness and his love.

5. Service

- Sin is fundamentally an orientation towards ourselves, therefore when we serve we learn to think of others' needs first.

Service is extremely important. It reminds us that its not about us, its about God and others. It also is a great opportunity to try new things and see what our gift is. There are many ways to service God. It doesn't have to be the forefront and in the spotlight, it can be simple, small, and hidden as well.

6. Suffering

- "often the events of our lives appear to be meaningless and irrelevant. But all the time God is training us in grace and godliness."

Suffering is always questioned, but know that its for a better good, and through it we learn to rely and trust in our Father who knows all, cares for all, and controls all. There is a greater, bigger and better plan ahead, push through it and dont lose faith!

7. Hope

- meditate on the future, eternal life

- remind yourselves that there is better yet to come, greater things that will happen and eternity of happiness that awaits

- "thinking of Christ's return loosens the hold that the world has on us and inspires us to change."

Salvation is a past, present and future thing. Focus on what is eternal, do not dwell on the earthly things, things that dont last and will fail, but think about whats to come, and the end, where a eternity of happiness, without tears, without pain, awaits us.

Lamentations 3:22-23

²² Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

²³ They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

Kelly shared this verse on Sunday and its been my iphone wallpaper since. I never knew it said that in the Bible and i love how great of a reminder it is. Each new day, God has given us new mercy, and a new chance. This doesn't mean you can just mess up your day and sin because the next day is new, but it means that our God is a gracious, loving and forgiving God. If you realize and confess your sins, he will forgive. The past is the past, what matters is that you change in the present and you keep the momentum going for the future.

I think we ought to remind ourselves daily of this, that God is good and that his love for us is eternal and overflowing. Praise God!