Unity.

When we take a look under the hood of a car there are many parts that have to work together in order for the car to run smoothly and achieve it's purpose. We may not notice the importance of the cooperation until it fails. The same is true in relationships. Your relationships with others can run smoothly... and they can also stall (just like a car). 




Philippians 2:1-2

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.

God wants us to be united with the Spirit and one another. When Christians listen to the Spirit, we can be like a smoothly running engine. But when we push ourselves before others, when we're out of step with the Spirit, we're like an engine with parts that won't cooperate.

Just Leave.

I've realized that i talk a lot about friends. I think it's just because they are the ones who keep me going (besides my family). I was talking to one of my closest friends about leaving to university.

Who knows what will happen. Meeting new people, starting fresh, going into a new environment, attending new classes, and simply being overloaded with work. After saying all this to him i realized i might actually lose him as a friend. He'll get caught up in all the work and stress and simply forget about me. He told me that it's part of growing up, i gotta spend the last moments i have with them and treasure them. and he said he'll try his best to keep in contact.

At that moment i realized that it's all becoming reality. In less than 6 months most of my close friends will be leaving for university. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do when they're gone. Suck it up and move on.

If i don't want to regret anything i have to treasure the moments i have with them.

Best Friend.

What is a best friend?

Today i was talking well proving a point to my friend. He was in a situation where his best friend will be hosting her 17th birthday party and he was struggling with choosing between studying or this party. He told me that he's got midterms coming up and he needs to focus on school.

I thought that what he said hurt the girl so i stood up for her. I told him that whether or not he needs to study why would you choose school over your friend's party? School yeah it's important but you can have more than one chance with that. Friends on the other hand, there's only one shot at it. Everyone is given one life. Use it wisely. I told him school or best friend. He stuttered a bit and then realized that friends are way more important than school work.

You never know when someone's life is going to end so spend every minute with them like it's the last.

Phil1:3 says, "I thank my God every time i remember you."

"I'll be here for you."

I often see this phrase, "I'll be here for you", everywhere. It gets tossed around in multiple relationships and I feel like it's just a reassurance of accountability. But, do you say it? I know I do. I sometimes just say it to make someone feel like they're loved. To my close friends, i always say it because it's true. I'll never leave their side no matter how much pain, drama, stupidity, judgement that they've been through.

Do you actually mean it when you say it or do you just say it just cuz. Accountability is key in every relationship. As I'm helping my friend go through their problem i feel like i have the responsibility of sticking by their side no matter what happens to them.

Some relationships may end horrifically and those words will soon mean nothing. But look on the bright side, simply look up. God's always there for you. He'll keep his word when he says those words. It may sometimes feel like he's not there but if you take a step back, he is. He'll never leave your side. No matter how many things we've done wrong, no matter how many times we might have said something that dishonors him, he'll still be there. He won't judge you because he made you perfectly.

Brother In Christ.

Through all this pain, drama, laughs, cries. I finally realized one thing. I don't need this boy to be in my life so that I can love him for more than a friend.

Today i realized after this long journey i just need another brother to stick with me, through thick and thin. It took so long for me to finally realize that i shouldn't like this guy for more than a friend. I'm proud to say that he's my brother in Christ. He's stuck by me through my rants, hits, laughs, and just about everything in between.

I still don't remember when we first met but that's not really important. The thing is, I've always treated him for more than a friend. I feel like i did this because i just needed someone there to fill that hole in my heart.

I learned that when a guy treats you well it's not always cuz he likes you for more than a friend but it's cuz he wants to treasure the relationship that he has with you.

3 Stories. 1 God.

It was one hectic Saturday (yesterday). Why? For Sunday school we had to make a video and my group had nothing planned until yesterday and it was due this morning. The moment I got to church i quickly talked to those who were already at church. We brainstormed then came up with an idea. There were 4 topics that we were to chose off of a list that was given to us by the teacher. I already knew what the other group was doing so we combined the rest of the 3 of 4 topics and made one conclusion.

There were 3 stories and here they are:

A girl isn't doing so well in school because she's spending too much time at church and worshiping God. Her parents aren't Christian so it's hard for them to understand how God has changed her life. She's forced to study, study, and study just to receive that 100% on every course. She struggles with trying to evangelize with her parents and then feels disappointed in herself because she has failed to do it.

The second story is about a girl that struggles with fitting in with her peers. She's constantly striving to be more and more 'pretty' to keep up with the trends. She gives into peer pressure by skipping class with her friends. She feels like she's not good enough for God because she has fallen into temptation so many times.

And lastly, this girl has a boyfriend who is a non-christian. She invites her boyfriend to Bible study and he shows up late and doesn't care about anything. They soon get into a fight and break up. Since she failed at evangelizing to him she soon feels that she's also failed the task of spreading the Gospel.

In the end it's not MARKS, FITTING IN, or EARTHLY RELATIONSHIPS that define you but it's your faith that defines you.

God loves you no matter how many struggles you face. It's okay to fail at spreading the Gospel because there may be other opportunities that are open for you.

One.

The past month i've really focused on whats been going on around me, and seeing God work in my life, may it be signs and things going on in my life. But i feel like, we need to indulge in the word more. The scripture is where its at, and its the truth. So im trying to focus my devotionals more on the word, than life occurrences, or Christian books.

The Parable of the Lost Sheep

¹ Now the tax collectors and sinners were all gathering around to hear Jesus. ² But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.”

³ Then Jesus told them this parable: ⁴ “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? ⁵ And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders ⁶and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ ⁷ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

The Parable of The Lost Coin

⁸ “Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Doesn’t she light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? ⁹ And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.’ ¹⁰ In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

luke 15:1-10

This is found right after the portion about "The Cost of Discipleship" and before "The Parable of The Lost Son". And when reading this at first, i really didnt know what it meant, i had an urge to move to some other passage, but in the end, something caught on.

Yesterday, i went out for dinner with my grandmother, and it just so happened that i bumped into an old friend, who i havent seen for 2-3 years even thought we've tried to meet up. And it was his birthday too! We texted throughout dinner, catching up, and it was nice just glancing up at him and exchanging smiles. I havent seen him in so long, i've missed him, his company, and his presence.

After dinner, i got to chat a bit more in person, but we continued to text for the rest of the night. And we started to share. Im really surprised with how much he opened up and how much he trusted me. The fact that we havent talked and met up in a long time, and that he still has this trust in me really said something. With his sharing, i realized and saw that he really indulged into worldly things. I remember that he used to go to church, but he left. I tried to talk to him about it, see his views on it, without seeming too "holy" and condemning him. I tried to speak in love, and it was really hard.

Knowing that he's far away, that its hard to talk and be there for him, i hope that our texts did speak up to him, hopefully he'll find alternative resolutions to the things he does. All i can do is pray. Like the passage above, it talks about how when a sinner comes to Christ, there is more joy and celebration, then 1000 righteous people without repentance. I thought of him when i read this. To be honest, i dont know how i can impact him and share God's love and grace to him. It seems impossible.

I guess trusting in God is the way to go with this one. Hoping that he will be somehow spoken to, and transformed from within to see God's love and mercy to see that the things of this world dont last and to receive the greatest gift of all. Please pray for him for me!

Every single child of God that comes running back to the Father is a great celebration and a great time. I hope we can all help those around us, by shining and living as lights of the world.

3 Days Can Do A Lot.

Going into this retreat i told Jason that i'd get to know my grade better.
Well, i got closer to a few girls and a guy.
I never expected my relationship with this one girl to grow so strong after a 3 hour talk.
We all go through struggles and it seemed like she understood what i was going through the most. Her style is nothing like mine. We were talking about how it's hard to make friends with girls and i think that it was a slap in the face when i realized that someone else was going through the same struggles as me. I couldn't believe it. Hopefully, i'll get to know her a lot better and soon develop a closer relationship with her.

Onto the next girl. She is a weird one. Every time i added a caption with a picture of us it would say, "We share our awks moments together" but after these 3 days, she was the one that would come looking for me. I've only known her for a year and throughout this year these past 3 days were the most important. I told her everything and felt that she has my trust. I didn't know what to expect when i went to talk to her for the first time. To be honest i thought that she would be one of those bratty girls that always get their way and tend to judge others by what they look like. But i was completely wrong. yes we do have many awkward moments but that's what makes our relationship. She's just amazing and she understands what im going through.

Lastly, this guy. I've known him for 3 years, got baptized with him and shared many awkward yet lasting moments. At first all i thought of him was that he's good looking. I didn't see past that until we had our first h2h. It opened my eyes and i realized that we shouldn't judge others because of what they look like because a smile can be covering a lot of pain. Last night i talked to him until 2am and by far it was the best talk that i've ever had with him. We usually talk on the phone or skype about random stuff but, this time it was different. I felt that i was hiding something from him and i thought that his reaction would be, "Kay so what do you want me to do about it. I care but, there's nothing i can do" but i was completely wrong. I wasn't going to cry but once i told him i bursted out in tears for a good 15 min. From this adventure with him i learned to not hide things from friends because you never know the outcome. He told me that he was glad that im still his friend and i've stuck by him through the many things he's done to me. This brightened my day. I never expected those words to come out of his mouth since, he's not a very 'talk about my feelings' person. I felt that he's shown me accountability and he doesn't judge because he says it doesn't benefit anything, which is very true.

After these 3 days past i got closer to these 3 people. I honestly don't know what i would do without them. I learned that we shouldn't take friends for granted. We should learn to thank God for all our friends, old and new because we never know what's going to happen next.

AGAPE Winter Retreat '12

"you mean the world to me."

Its been eight, memorable, amazing, unforgettable retreats with my fellowship, and today just concluded our final one before we graduate.

To be honest, it didnt really hit me that this was it until the bus ride home. And i question myself, did i enjoy myself to the fullest? Did i let God speak to me and completely let him enter my heart?

But first, lets take it back. This is going to be a quite a messy post. Just saying.

Sessions. This time around, Calvin Lam came in and spoke to us, and he used the prodigal son parable as his message. The overarching theme was "Are You a Fan or a Follower of Christ?". Here are just a few of my quick notes.

- In the parable, it talks about a son that takes his portion of inheritance, runs away and wastes it until he hits rock bottom. He comes to realize that he was wrong, and wanted to return, in hopes his father would take him in as a servant, but to his surprise his father had a full on party for him, rejoicing and celebrating his return.

- Are we like the son? Running away? Personally, i shared that i think i may have strayed away, may have fallen without even knowing. I need to run back into his arms, knowing that he is a father that forever loves me and will provide for me.

That night, we had our own reflection time, a time with God and i really realized that i've messed up. I have and am continuing to fail to let go of the sins i struggle with. In the past, i've looked out to everyone and saw people with perfect lives, everything figured out, but now i've come to see that everyone has their own package of struggles and its amazing to see us all come together, to support each other in His name.

- we then talked about the second half of the parable, it was about the older son, and his side of the story. He was working with his dad the entire time, but when his brother returned home, he was frustrated and didnt realize why the son that betrayed the family received such a celebration. He built an attitude of selfishness. His brother had already took his portion, but when he comes back, his dad gave the younger brother the elder brother's ROBE, RING, FATTENED CALF. This all was rightfully his, but was used to celebrated his younger brother's return. He just didnt understand.

- are we like the elder brother? Selfish and unable to see past ourselves and our wants?

- reflecting on this, i can relate to it as well. Calvin said something that hit my heart: "selfishness will kill what God is trying to do within us".

- i shared with my small group that i felt that my faith was wavering, i felt lost in my faith and that it had plateaued, and i think this is it. My selfishness has hindered me from letting God work within me. For instance, newcomers. To be honest, i dont like talking to new people, i do it sometimes because i feel bad, and i feel like i have to, but i feel like its a bad sign when its not out of love. Selfish. Im thinking about myself first.

- i really challenge myself and others to break away from this selfishness, step out of their comfort zone and into the realm of others. Seeing their needs, besides your own.

- Luke 14:33 really hit me, it was from the devo. It says,

³³ In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.

- EVERYTHING. God wants us to give up EVERYTHING. Thats the requirement, and i cant yet, but im learning to. "Salvation is free, but discipleships costs everything".

Speaking of this selfishness. I felt like i was trying to break out a bit more this weekend. I tried to sit with new people, and i got to know the grade 10s and 11s better. I really wanted to get to know more people, but within 48 hours, its simply not possible. Again, its hard talking to newcomers, and sacrificing something you want (ex. friends) for someone else. I have a friend who I look up to because he's so sweet, caring, gentle and welcoming. He's been that person that has gone out and spoke to me when i was alone, and he's reminded me that im important and someone cares. He sets a great example of putting their own wants behind and putting others before them. This same friend told me this morning how excited he was to be in my small group, looking forward to my sharing and what i had to say, but he was disappointed (i guess you can say) on how quiet i was. To be completely honest, that hit me really hard. I knew that he looked up to me, and to hear that, i felt like i failed him, disappointed him. I never knew anyone would look at me that way, so with that, i was motivated to open up even more, and share at the session this morning. Im hoping that through my sharing, it would help the younger grades open up more. They may be shy, but im hoping that through all this, they can learn to share as well. I remember how difficult, awkward, and shy it was when it came to sharing.

Retreat always comes with tears, laughter, joy, and memories. Whether if it may be the UFC championships that go on in the boys cabin, the intimate talks we have with each other in our grades, or the competitive atmosphere that comes with group games, retreat has always meant a lot to me. Thinking about it now, knowing that this is the end, that this weekend was the final weekend, im sad that its all over. I wont be able to have another moment like a moment at retreat with all 190+ people. Im truly grateful and blessed for everyone i've met, and i remember on the bus ride home, looking back and seeing all the grade 12s, how they've grown, how they've matured, it was like watching flowers bloom. You can pick out the artistic ones, the loud ones, the dramatic ones, the musical ones, the list goes on. You can clearly see that God pieced each and everyone of us together to make up this group of seventeen/eighteen year olds. Im thankful for all of them. They've impacted me, and have definitely molded me and have made me who i am.

Was this final retreat, epic, and big? No, it was a typical retreat, but thats all i need.

verse of the day: Luke 14:33

³³ In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.

each day.

Getting a notification in the morning knowing that a friend was hit by a car is never a great way to start the morning. Especially when its a friend you love, care for, and look up to.

This really put into perspective life. Life. It is like a vapour as the bible describes it (James 4:14). Its short. It seems long, oh 60-80 years of life, of suffering and of pain, but compared to ETERNITY, its so infinitely short.

• --------------------------------------------------------------------

This line i guess you can say represents time. that tiny, microscopic dot, is your life on earth, and that line is eternity. Can you not see the immense difference between life on earth and on heaven? Its so short. And it comes and goes.

With this notification i got this morning, everything just put into context and i realized how fragile life exactly is. I may see him one week, give him a hug, have a typical chat, and the thought of not know if he'll even be there or if i'll see him the week after, thats a scary thought. We often take life for granted, and we just think, "oh we have another day", but do we really. God has the power to end your life with a blink of an eye. Really live each day like its your last, but for the right reasons.

each day is a gift.

each day is a blessing.

A Light Has Dawned.

Think about how you've struggled through something really bad. Like a darkness in your life.
Christ is the center of our lives. He is the LIGHT of this world. While you were struggling through this dark time in your life have you ever thought of how God is the light in it?

Personally, when i struggle through a difficult time i block God out and talk to friends. It is pretty bad but i think that i do this because i need someone to talk to (that will respond quickly). I find myself ignoring God when I'm going through these difficult moments.

Today i learned that God is always here for you. We often have friends who say don't worry I'll always be here for you. Some are faithful and they do mean it but others, just say it for encouragement. I had this one friend who said those words to me. 10 months later it was all gone. I didn't feel any support or trust in the relationship anymore. From then on i learned that we should stay true to our words.

When we say we're Christian we should act upon it and not be ashamed. God is the light in our lives. Although he puts us into tough situations, he wants us to look up and let him guide the way. We must fully rely on him.

4 out of 5.

"dont get swept away by the waves of temptation"

On Sunday we went to sunday school class, as always, and the overall theme/lesson was campus life, first year, and what we'd encounter. And we talked a LOT about drinking, partying, priorities, and temptations.

I dont know what it was, whether if it was the video, how they created it, the music, the stories, but a lot of it was about drinking, and it made it all seem really real. It made it seem like, that was the biggest thing we'll encounter, and that thats all that campus life is about. Im hoping its not, but we'll find out.

There were stories from going to the hospital, and getting sexually assaulted, and it was just all in my face. But then the next bit was what hit me the most.

"4 out of 5 Christians fall away from Christ when they head to University."

I've heard this several times, but i guess seeing it, and the fact that i was sitting in a room filled with graduates that are in groups of fives. It was all becoming a reality. Sitting in my group, Denton, Bryan, Jasper, Donald, Adrienne. Thats 5. And 4 of them are going to leave Christ? Thats a scary thought.

Talking about alcohol and then people falling away, one person popped into my mind. And worries started to pour in. I was scared he'd be a easy snab by Satan and i cant afford to lose him, or anyone from AGAPE for that matter. I think his faith still isnt strong, he's experimented with alcohol, and i feel like everything we talked about in class was a screaming invitation from the Devil. I can only hope and pray that he wont fall away. There's no way i can check up on him, and i just feel kinda useless and that i cant do anything to help him out. I know to leave it up to God, but i pray and hope i can do everything i can, now and later to make sure it doesnt happen.

4 out of 5 people will fall away from Christ.

Accountability is so important.

Check up on your friends and keep them close.

Find a fellowship ASAP when you get to campus.

Why Not With God?

This thought just popped into my mind.

Today i found was one of the most productive days i've EVER had academically, how much was good and will stay in my mind? i have no clue, but i was able to study 3/4 of my math course, and i completely my first round of studies. I couldnt believe it. I was blasting music, singing along, but i was surprised i wasnt tempted to check twitter, facebook, i wasnt even tempted to have breaks. Even times when i said "you deserve a break", i wouldnt, i was totally in the zone and the momentum contuinued to carry. Working from 11am - 8pm (with breaks of course, lunch and dinner, and my... occasional get up, dance and sing moments), it was extremely efficient and im so proud of myself.

But now sitting down, thinking about what to post, a question popped into my mind, why dont we spend this much time and put this much effort into our relationship with God? Why cant we do this with God? Is it cause we're not being marked? Because it doesnt impact our near-future? Because it's "old" and "boring"? Because we cant see Him? What's stopping us from spending a day with God, whether it be studying his word, or communicating through prayer? What is this barrier that is hindering us from doing this?

Quickly reflecting upon it right now, i actually dont know. I cant figure out why i am not able to do this with Christ? Im thinking maybe because its boring? The bible isnt fully placed in today's context, but there are so many things in there that we can learn from and need to understand. Maybe its because it happened so long ago? I know i struggle with this. Yes i know God died for me, but that +2000 years ago. It just doesnt fully feel relevant to me, like i dont feel the connection because it was just so long ago. I dont feel like i dont fully know God like how i know a friend, but that's partially my fault for not taking the time to know Him.

Think about it, what's really stopping you from doing that? Its kind of mind boggling, that we're able and willing and will even force ourselves to sit down and practice graphing squiggles on paper, and learn about how enzymes in our body's work, but not sit down and communicate with the Father, the Creator, the One that sent His Son down to earth to die for us?

just a thought.

Dust Bunnies.

Today as I sat down to start my studies, i was all prepared, organized, and set up, until i swept my finger across my desk where i dont often use. And...

dust.

i hate dust. It actually bothers me so much that it can get anywhere, and just lingers, and they're all little particles. And this some swipe spiralled into a massive clean up. I wiped down my ENTIRE desk, including all the different levels, and just EVERYTHING. This then moved onto cleaning my drawer top and then that lead to moving my books....

and in the midst of all that, i came to realize. This is what we were made from. God made Adam out of dust. And like Ecclesiastes 3 says,

¹⁹ Surely the fate of human beings is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath; humans have no advantage over animals. Everything is meaningless. ²⁰ All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return.

This kinda goes back to the SNA message this year. Nothing. Nothing on this earth will last. Relationships, materialistic things, pride, nothing on this earth will full satisfy except for God. All things will corrode, will fail, and will break. That is why we must learn to set our eyes on things that are greater, things that will last, and things that are eternal. Not earthly things.

On the lines of dust, i kept thinking, its so hard to clean up, its such a hassle, its.. literally nothing. Like what is it exactly... bits and pieces of what? And it kinda comes out of no where too...

i dont know, this post isnt the most organized and structured, but it was just a revelation i had today.