zero gravity.

That feeling, when you're in outer space, where they're no gravity, nothing, you're just floating in space, and there's nothing. nothing to grab onto, nothing to ground you, keep you in place. You're just floating there, helpless. thats how i feel today. As if time has froze, and I'm stuck in my body, unable to escape, stuck, and there's absolutely nothing i can do.

Things have been rather rough, but today, it just all piled up. I woke up today knowing and having a gut feeling that the day wasn't going to go well. And it didn't. From not feeling well physically in the morning, to being plain out tired, having constant thoughts running through my mind that put myself down, Satan taunting at me, doubts, guilt, regrets, all piled up. It got to the point where instead of pushing myself to get through life day by day, today it was pushing myself to get through the next minute. And finally after my day was over, i couldn't take it. And i let it out. I broke down.

¹³ No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

1 Corinthians 10:13

I always think of this verse. With everything going on in my mind, I kept thinking to myself. Why. God promised me that he would not give me more than i can bear, and i feel like this is just way too much. I can't handle it. Is he just trying to push me off the edge? I really can't go through this anymore, i want to give up. I want to escape, but I'm stuck with this life and this reality. I want to leave but i can't.

My good friend was checking up on me and gave me this verse. It was the perfect verse at that time.

⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Im feeling much better now. We sang You Hold Me Now at SPLOXA today, and it really spoke to me. The lyrics, i could truly relate, and listening to it again after all the craze, it was comforting, it was reassuring and it gave me all i wanted, to be held tight, to be loved. It opened the window of hope we should set out eyes on. Heaven.

No weeping.

No hurt or pain.

No suffering.

You hold me now.

No darkness.

No sick or lame.

No hiding.

You hold me now.

Im so ready to get that. To get to heaven, into that place with no pain, no tears and no suffering. But for now on earth, i will delight in my sufferings and my hardships because God is good and its with these pains i will grow stronger. For when i am weak, i am strong.

⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Road to Calvary (IV)

Jesus was betrayed, arrested, and was lead to crucifixion. After Peter's denial, he is brought to Pilate, as he's questioned, but as the Son of God, he did not deny, and told the truth that no one believed. That he was the Son of God. Pilate looked through his records, and it was true, he hasn't committed any crime and did no deserve any form of punishment since our God is pure and sinless. He asked the crowd what they wanted, between Jesus and Barabbus (who was a robber), yet the crowd still wanted to bring down Christ. So Pilate gave in and gave them what they wanted (John 18:28-40).

¹ Then Pilate took Jesus and had him flogged. ² The soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns and put it on his head. They clothed him in a purple robe ³ and went up to him again and again, saying, “Hail, king of the Jews!” And they slapped him in the face.

⁴ Once more Pilate came out and said to the Jews gathered there, “Look, I am bringing him out to you to let you know that I find no basis for a charge against him.” ⁵ When Jesus came out wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe, Pilate said to them, “Here is the man!”

⁶ As soon as the chief priests and their officials saw him, they shouted, “Crucify! Crucify!”

But Pilate answered, “You take him and crucify him. As for me, I find no basis for a charge against him.”

⁷ The Jewish leaders insisted, “We have a law, and according to that law he must die, because he claimed to be the Son of God.”

⁸ When Pilate heard this, he was even more afraid, ⁹ and he went back inside the palace. “Where do you come from?” he asked Jesus, but Jesus gave him no answer. ¹⁰“Do you refuse to speak to me?” Pilate said. “Don’t you realize I have power either to free you or to crucify you?”

¹¹ Jesus answered, “You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above. Therefore the one who handed me over to you is guilty of a greater sin.”

¹² From then on, Pilate tried to set Jesus free, but the Jewish leaders kept shouting, “If you let this man go, you are no friend of Caesar. Anyone who claims to be a king opposes Caesar.”

¹³ When Pilate heard this, he brought Jesus out and sat down on the judge’s seat at a place known as the Stone Pavement (which in Aramaic is Gabbatha). ¹⁴ It was the day of Preparation of the Passover; it was about noon.

“Here is your king,” Pilate said to the Jews.

¹⁵ But they shouted, “Take him away! Take him away! Crucify him!”

“Shall I crucify your king?” Pilate asked.

“We have no king but Caesar,” the chief priests answered.

¹⁶ Finally Pilate handed him over to them to be crucified.

John 19:1-16

Just as described, Jesus was ridiculed. He was spat on, he was made fun of, and insulted, with a crown of thorns and the purple robe (v. 1-3).

After the bit at the end of John 18, we see Pilate's growth here. He brings Jesus back out to the crowd, saying that he has found NO guilt in him, that he shouldn't be crucified. He's defending Christ! (v.4). Yet the people continue to order for Christ to be crucified. Have you ever thought, "wow if only i was born in that time, i would be able to see this great amazing God", but if you really think about it, what if you were one of thousands that were ordering Christ to be crucified. Can you imagine being in that moment, whether you were apart of the crowd or were against it. Seeing our Saviour beaten, torn, battered. The pain he must go through for us, out of love and grace.

Pilate goes crazy. He drags God back and tells him that he has to power to free him, but this one line that Jesus said was extremely powerful. “You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above. Therefore the one who handed me over to you is guilty of a greater sin.” (v.11). Christ acknowledged what Pilate was trying to do, but it also shows God's power. He knows that no matter what anyone may try to do, God's plan will rule and will reign. It was Christ's purpose to be the final sacrifice for us, and His will shall be done. Pilate continues to try and save Christ, and the crowd says that if you release him, you are not a friend of Caesar's.

I had no idea it was going to be like this, but every single post, i continue to see links between the characters as well as us everyday. Judas represented the sinner in us, we will betray and fall short of God's glory. We may also be like Peter, two faced, denying Christ for our own benefit, out of pride or for our reputation. And once again, we can relate to Pilate. The crowd continues to shout at Pilate, and its exactly like the world today. Casear is the "king of The World" and the people are the people OF the World. And we are constantly being told what to do by the media, what standards we should have, how we should live, and it is up to us whether to decide to follow and give in or stand against. Although in the end Pilate gave in and followed the orders of the people, he still had a spark in him that wanted to do the good.

Like I mentioned earlier, that God's plan is so much more perfect and so much more powerful. Although Pilate did want to save Jesus from his death, but I feel like its possible that God made sure that Pilate wouldn't stand against. That he would eventually give in, and bring Jesus to his death because the plan will and must be carried out.

Where do you stand? As Easter weekend starts, instead of thinking about the chocolate you'll get, and maybe a visit from the Easter bunny, take some time to reflect on the pain and the journey Christ went through on his final days on earth. He lived out the truth. He fought for the truth. He was arrested for the truth. He died for the truth. He stood by the truth. He was the truth.

Jesus Christ is the greatest example we should live by that has ever walked on this earth. May he be glorified today and forevermore.

10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

1 John 4:10

Forgiveness.

Ephesians 1:7

⁷ In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace

There's no such thing as 'too big of a sin'. God views all sins equally. From stealing to lying. I used to think that God wasn't able to forgive my sins because it was such a bad thing to do. I didn't know how to get rid of that sin. Then i realized that God forgives each and every one of us no matter what. He does it through his grace and mercy and although we don't deserve it he still offers it to us. It's up to us, whether or not we want to repent. God's love is so amazing. His love for us is so abundant that he was willing to give us his one and only son to die on the cross for our sins.

He's a very forgiving God because he cares for us and he wants us to go to Heaven to spend eternity with him.