Road to Calvary (IV)

Jesus was betrayed, arrested, and was lead to crucifixion. After Peter's denial, he is brought to Pilate, as he's questioned, but as the Son of God, he did not deny, and told the truth that no one believed. That he was the Son of God. Pilate looked through his records, and it was true, he hasn't committed any crime and did no deserve any form of punishment since our God is pure and sinless. He asked the crowd what they wanted, between Jesus and Barabbus (who was a robber), yet the crowd still wanted to bring down Christ. So Pilate gave in and gave them what they wanted (John 18:28-40).

¹ Then Pilate took Jesus and had him flogged. ² The soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns and put it on his head. They clothed him in a purple robe ³ and went up to him again and again, saying, “Hail, king of the Jews!” And they slapped him in the face.

⁴ Once more Pilate came out and said to the Jews gathered there, “Look, I am bringing him out to you to let you know that I find no basis for a charge against him.” ⁵ When Jesus came out wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe, Pilate said to them, “Here is the man!”

⁶ As soon as the chief priests and their officials saw him, they shouted, “Crucify! Crucify!”

But Pilate answered, “You take him and crucify him. As for me, I find no basis for a charge against him.”

⁷ The Jewish leaders insisted, “We have a law, and according to that law he must die, because he claimed to be the Son of God.”

⁸ When Pilate heard this, he was even more afraid, ⁹ and he went back inside the palace. “Where do you come from?” he asked Jesus, but Jesus gave him no answer. ¹⁰“Do you refuse to speak to me?” Pilate said. “Don’t you realize I have power either to free you or to crucify you?”

¹¹ Jesus answered, “You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above. Therefore the one who handed me over to you is guilty of a greater sin.”

¹² From then on, Pilate tried to set Jesus free, but the Jewish leaders kept shouting, “If you let this man go, you are no friend of Caesar. Anyone who claims to be a king opposes Caesar.”

¹³ When Pilate heard this, he brought Jesus out and sat down on the judge’s seat at a place known as the Stone Pavement (which in Aramaic is Gabbatha). ¹⁴ It was the day of Preparation of the Passover; it was about noon.

“Here is your king,” Pilate said to the Jews.

¹⁵ But they shouted, “Take him away! Take him away! Crucify him!”

“Shall I crucify your king?” Pilate asked.

“We have no king but Caesar,” the chief priests answered.

¹⁶ Finally Pilate handed him over to them to be crucified.

John 19:1-16

Just as described, Jesus was ridiculed. He was spat on, he was made fun of, and insulted, with a crown of thorns and the purple robe (v. 1-3).

After the bit at the end of John 18, we see Pilate's growth here. He brings Jesus back out to the crowd, saying that he has found NO guilt in him, that he shouldn't be crucified. He's defending Christ! (v.4). Yet the people continue to order for Christ to be crucified. Have you ever thought, "wow if only i was born in that time, i would be able to see this great amazing God", but if you really think about it, what if you were one of thousands that were ordering Christ to be crucified. Can you imagine being in that moment, whether you were apart of the crowd or were against it. Seeing our Saviour beaten, torn, battered. The pain he must go through for us, out of love and grace.

Pilate goes crazy. He drags God back and tells him that he has to power to free him, but this one line that Jesus said was extremely powerful. “You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above. Therefore the one who handed me over to you is guilty of a greater sin.” (v.11). Christ acknowledged what Pilate was trying to do, but it also shows God's power. He knows that no matter what anyone may try to do, God's plan will rule and will reign. It was Christ's purpose to be the final sacrifice for us, and His will shall be done. Pilate continues to try and save Christ, and the crowd says that if you release him, you are not a friend of Caesar's.

I had no idea it was going to be like this, but every single post, i continue to see links between the characters as well as us everyday. Judas represented the sinner in us, we will betray and fall short of God's glory. We may also be like Peter, two faced, denying Christ for our own benefit, out of pride or for our reputation. And once again, we can relate to Pilate. The crowd continues to shout at Pilate, and its exactly like the world today. Casear is the "king of The World" and the people are the people OF the World. And we are constantly being told what to do by the media, what standards we should have, how we should live, and it is up to us whether to decide to follow and give in or stand against. Although in the end Pilate gave in and followed the orders of the people, he still had a spark in him that wanted to do the good.

Like I mentioned earlier, that God's plan is so much more perfect and so much more powerful. Although Pilate did want to save Jesus from his death, but I feel like its possible that God made sure that Pilate wouldn't stand against. That he would eventually give in, and bring Jesus to his death because the plan will and must be carried out.

Where do you stand? As Easter weekend starts, instead of thinking about the chocolate you'll get, and maybe a visit from the Easter bunny, take some time to reflect on the pain and the journey Christ went through on his final days on earth. He lived out the truth. He fought for the truth. He was arrested for the truth. He died for the truth. He stood by the truth. He was the truth.

Jesus Christ is the greatest example we should live by that has ever walked on this earth. May he be glorified today and forevermore.

10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

1 John 4:10

Road To Calvary (I)

Since it is the final week before Easter comes around, i decided that I wanted to dedicate this week to Jesus' road to Calvary. Im planning to go through his last moments on earth, everyday, starting from John 17 (not sure why i picked there). Here goes. May God speak to you and me through his Word.

¹ After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed:

“Father, the hour has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. ² For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. ³ Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. ⁴ I have brought you glory on earth by finishing the work you gave me to do. ⁵ And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began.

Jesus Prays for His Disciples

⁶ “I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. ⁷ Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. ⁸ For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me.⁹ I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. ¹⁰All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them. ¹¹ I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name, the name you gave me, so that they may be one as we are one. ¹² While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe bythat name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled.

¹³ “I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. ¹⁴ I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. ¹⁵ My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. ¹⁶ They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. ¹⁷ Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. ¹⁸ As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. ¹⁹ For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.

Jesus Prays for All Believers

²⁰ “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message,²¹ that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. ²²I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— ²³ I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.

²⁴ “Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.

²⁵ “Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. ²⁶ I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”

John 17

After reading through and listening to what Jesus said in this prayer, there's really a lot of context here. So i'll try to break it down, or just share first thoughts that came to my mind. In the text i was reading in, ESV, i didn't know it was split into so many parts, but i guess that'll be an advantage.

Verses 1-5, when reading this, i thought that this could also be a prayer we should be praying to God with. He talks about glorifying God with his life (v.2) just as we should be with our speech, and actions, living as a holy and pleasing sacrifice. It also hints about our purpose on this earth. Christ's purpose was to be sent to die, carrying the sins of mankind, granting us salvation and forgiveness for those who believe and repent. But for us, can we say v.4 before we leave the earth? That we've brought glory to his plan?

Verses 6-19, going through this, i can really see how Christ is the connection between us and God. Like that cartoon i've seen where the cross is the bridge between earth and heaven. In these verses I feel like he's really talking FOR us. For instance, he says protect them (v.11). He's really talking for us, wanting the best for us, but something extremely important is that he's praying for those who have accepted the truth (v.8-9). He states very clearly that he is praying for them (those who accepted the word), NOT the world. Reading this section over and over, you can really see how much God has loved us. He talks about how he's protected us while he was on earth, but now that he's leaving he hopes God can provide and watch for us (v.11-12). The rest of the verses continue to show his connection with us, being the link between the sinful and the holy. Verse 16 dives right back into being representatives of Christ, of living IN this world, not OF this world. As followers of Christ we must live and strive to imitate him. Jesus knows that following him is hard, and the world will hate you because you are going against the current, the trends, but its a fight (v.14).

Verses 20-26 are similar to the section before, but instead, Christ is praying for all the believers versus his disciples earlier. But no only does Jesus pray for the believers, he adds in the non believers too. He knows that there are people who do not believe, and that he proclaimed his name, radiating God's love to others, and he hopes that that can continue to happen through his disciples and through us. Thats one of the more general purposes we have on this earth, to share his love and good news to others.

Reading and going through this passage, I think i've finally opened up and have seen Christ's love for me. I've always felt distant from his death and sacrifice because it happened so long ago, but reading his prayer, it really shows his love for us as we see him speaking for us.

⁹ This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. ¹⁰This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. ¹¹ Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ¹² No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

1 John 4:9-11

comma,

Today is Palm Sunday. There's only a week before the highlight of the Christian calendar, in five days Jesus will be beaten, tormented and spat on for our sins as he carries the consequences of sin on his shoulders for all of mankind. But in seven days, we will rejoice as he has resurrected from the grave, ultimately showing his power, his love, but most importantly hope.

My devotions the past few days have constantly been saying, "during this time of lent, reflect on...". I think i haven't been taking the time to reflect on his grace, his love, and his sacrifice. During band practice, we did devotionals, and it talked about being in constant communion with Christ. It said that quiet time isn't enough. It was a surprise because i always thought that if i made time to spend with Christ, that would be sufficient. But its much more. Its to be thinking about him, in every moment. Sometimes its difficult, because you're focusing on other things, how exactly do you focus on Christ as well? To quote the devotion,

"the key to friendship with God is not changing what you do, but chaining your attitude toward what you do. What you normally do for yourself, you begin doing for God, whether it is eating, bathing working, relaxing, or taking out the trash." - Rick Warren

There's so much more to this thing we call faith. It isn't just an action where you say "i believe". It isn't just the baptism where you get dunked. There's more. Its a commitment and its a lifestyle. There's more that we live for.

During today's sermon my pastor said something that stuck out to me, "life is a comma, not a period." There's much more after life. What you do in this life determines what happens in the next life. Like the parable in Matthew 25:31-46, it talks about goats and sheep. One will enter heaven because they lived out Christ's life, and one will enter the gates of Hell because they were not representatives of Christ.

This last week of lent, before easter, I hope that i can work harder to reflect and think about God glory, and focus on him more. On his love and sacrifice for me.

²⁷ Just as people are destined to die once, and after that to face judgment,²⁸ so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many; and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him.

Hebrews 9:27

"I volunteer as tribute"

During the reaping in District 12 Prim was chosen to be a part of the Hunger Games. It's all up to life or death. Survival of the fittest. As Prim was walking towards the stage her sister said these words:"I volunteer as tribute." This means that she's willing to risk her life to save her sisters.

Have you ever had a friend who you'd die for ? Do anything that they could ever imagine. Jesus came down to earth to sacrifice his life for us. Similar to Katniss, she was willing to sacrifice herself just for her sister.

It's just still so overwhelming to me that Jesus was willing to sacrifice himself and go through all that torture just for you and I. It's incredible.

Are you willing to sacrifice yourself for someone? If so who?

broken, fragmented

Easter is fast approaching, and we have to take the time to reflect on our Saviour's sacrifice. Christ was beaten, battered, spat on, speared, cussed at, all the horrible, painful things one could ever imagine. He bore all that for us. He took on the sin of the world, the sin of mankind upon his shoulders and on the cross. WE were the ones that nailed him to that cross.

He was broken for us. But he made us whole.

Without him, our lives have no purpose, because of God he has made me who i am now, with a reason on this earth, with a specific route and plan for my life. He's given me people who i can be accountable with, people who support and love me. To bind us, unifying us, and making us whole. It is through Christ we have come together. Praise God.

As Easter comes along, think about who he went through for us, and what he has done for us by doing so.

²³ For I pass on to you what I received from the Lord himself. On the night when he was betrayed, the Lord Jesus took some bread ²⁴ and gave thanks to God for it. Then he broke it in pieces and said, “This is my body, which is given for you. Do this to remember me.”

1 Corinthians 11:23-24

admirable move.

"may the odds be ever in your favor"

Happy Hunger Games everyone! I was lucky enough to have been able to go watch the exciting film with my fellow AGAPE friends tonight, and what a movie. There are so many things i can say about it, but there's something else i want to address. This whole process started a month ago (i think) when we booked tickets and reserved an entire row. Everyone was so excited and hyped up for it and there were so many people that wanted to come as well, but we couldnt get all of them to come with because they asked too late. My post today is titled admirable move because two things happened that I've been thinking about a lot lately.

First off, this week, I was talking to the friend who booked all the tickets for us, who I am so thankful for and i was asking her if she was excited, and she told me she wasnt going... I was so curious as to why she wasnt going to come with us, and it turns out that she gave her ticket away. I was stunned. Absolutely stunned. How could someone so generously give away their ticket like that? It was opening weekend, it was with 12 other friends, it was gonna be one heck of a night! And she gave it up for one of the newcomers to our fellowship. Wow. I couldnt believe it. Admirable Move.

Second, since she didnt come, she gave all the tickets to her friend who came with us today. And since she had all the tickets, she had to give them to us as we came in. I remember, it was 7:25 and they needed to go to the washroom, so i happily took their place, and as I waited, i realized the movie was going to start in 5 mins, and with 6 other tickets, i started to get impatient. One of the six friends came, and when the two friends came back from the washroom, i was ready to go inside. As the commercials went, and as the movie started, they two girls still didnt come in yet. Again, i thought to myself, wow, they're giving up the time and money they spent to watch this movie, and because they took on the role as the "ticket giver", they took it on with full seriousness and commitment. They waited outside and came in 5 mins into the movie. Another admirable move.

Reflecting on it, I realized how selfish I was. I dont think I could have done it if I were in their place. I honestly admire how sacrificial and selfless they were. Thinking about it, thats exactly what God did, but instead of giving up a movie ticket to see the hunger games, he gave up eternal happiness, a kingdom, a throne, and his only son for us. Even in the movie, Katniss sacrificed and risked her life to save what was important to her, her friends. Thats the most admirable move of them all.

verse of the day: John 15:13

¹³ There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

Hello, My Name is: Friend

There are so many times I know that i've felt lonely, uncared for, and like an outcast. Friends, sure and yes i have friends but only a rare few are the ones i can truly talk to and can call "BFF"s if you will. Its difficult sometimes, dealing with the loneliness, but thinking and looking ahead towards eternity, I've come to realize that God is THE true friend.

He's always there for you. You dont need to call him, poke him, text him, just say a prayer and he's listening attentively. I know that sometimes i can completely pour out my heart to him when im going through things.

He has this love for you that no one on this earth can ever express. He loves unconditionally, not matter what you're suffering through, no matter how you look, how you speak, or how you dress. He loves each of us because he designed, planned, and created all of us in his image. His love is so great that he died for you. Sacrifice IS love, and his life, the greatest thing anyone can sacrifice, he gave up for you.

You can trust this friend. He'll never backstab you. Everything in this world will fail, will fade, and will corrode. From materialistic things, to friendships and relationships. But this friendship and commitment you make with Christ is forever and eternal.

But there are a few things i think we all struggle with when with this friend we call God. First, the world has become a place where everything is fast, immediate, and we often turn to our friends first because they reply. Whenever i talk to God, there isnt a literal response which provides immediate satisfaction. Also, i think i've talked about this before, but I dont usually feel the connection between his love and the cross because it happened so long ago that it doesnt feel relevant anymore. Lastly is knowing what he wants. I want to know what he wants me to do and what he wants to tell me, but I dont see it, and I cant hear it and its frustrating. Are these flaws of God? No. Its all apart of being a follower of Christ and having faith. Knowing that he is there and believing that his love never fails.

He's the true friend.

When all else fails, he will be the only one to turn to.

But you shouldnt be turning to him WHEN all else fails.

We should be turning to him first and foremost.

¹ See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! But the people who belong to this world don’t recognize that we are God’s children because they don’t know him.

1 John 3:1

Hello, My Name is: Lamb of God

Lamb. The cutest, most purest animal. In its white wool coat, this animal represents our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.

But this lamb was killed. The purest of all creatures, white as snow, was taken, beaten, killed and sacrificed, shedding his blood for all the sins of mankind. In the old testament, there would be regular offerings of the lamb, and the best, most healthy/fit animals were the ones to be slaughtered and not eaten as a sacrifice for their sins. But when God sent his Son down from heaven, he, Jesus was the lamb, that perfect sacrifice. Not only was he the PERFECT sacrifice, he was the FINAL sacrifice.

When Christ died on the cross, he died for all mankind. Not just the group of people that witnessed it, not only the generation that lived in that year, but for every single person that was there and was to come as well. Including me and you. He was the last, final, perfect sacrifice, granting us forgiveness of our sins, and salvation if we believed and took Christ as our Lord and Saviour.

We discussed this at our CORE leadership meeting for the MOBS Bible Study today, and it really popped out at me this one time. When we repent from our sins and turn to God, and we say the sinners prayer, we MUST realize that we are accepting Christ as our Lord and Saviour.

Saviour. That God sent his Son to die for us on the cross to save us from the eternal consequence of sin, Death.

LORD. Many people do not realize that when you do choose to run back to Christ and follow him, you're giving up your life for him to reign because you know that he has the best in mind for you and a plan for you.

Cross.

Jesus payed the price for our sins. We don't have to earn our way to Heaven. He's already up there waiting for us. Doing good deeds is also good but there isn't a certain amount of deeds which we need to do in order to get the 'pass' to Heaven.

He loves us the way we are. He was sacrificed for YOU and I. Unbelievable right? But it's true. He created you and i and he died and his blood was shed for you and i. Once we repent our sins are forgiven and it's basically making a promise to God that you won't ever do that sin again.

It's hard to imagine how loving God is. He accepts everyone because he's a loving and forgiving God. He reigns forever and he doesn't judge on us.

In The Process: Lent

It has already been an official week of lent! We started on the 22nd of February, and here we are! There are a few things that i've noticed with lent, and today's devotional brought it up, so i decided to reflect on it. First of all, Lent is a 40 day period before easter, where you give up something for the Lord. It can be chocolate, it can be social networking, it can be coffee, anything that was apart of your life. It is so that you can use that time to reflect and spend more time with God.

For me personally, i've decided to give up twitter. Its my first time lenting, (since i always seem to forget and not know when it starts) and i've actually found it extremely effective, especially the first few days. It was difficult, to delete the app, take off the bookmark, delete the SMS twitter contact, and just stripping it away, and having it change literally overnight. But I remember clearly, i would go on the computer and cursor would automatically go to the spot where twitter was, but it was gone, and every single time i did that, i thought of God instead. Every time i wanted to tweet off my phone, i'd think of God. I'd remember the reason im doing this, and it kept him in my mind.

Like I said, Lent is a time where you give up something, so you have more time to think of God and reflect on his greatness, today's devo said,

Lent is a good time to go back to “the beginning of the good news,” recognizing that we are still capable of sin even though we believe in and follow Jesus. His Spirit is working in us, but (in this life) we are not yet made perfect. ~ Today's Devotional

Reflecting, that "we are still capable of sin even though we believe in and follow Jesus". The devo was about repentance, and im sure we all have sins we need to confess and turn away from. I know I for one do. Use this time of lent, instead of going on twitter, or getting that cup of coffee each day, to focus more on God, and how to be more like him.

I remember reading a tweet before lent started saying "the moment when God can send his son to die on cross, but we cant give up social networking". It just shows our priorities and how much we invest our time and effort into things.

Are you lenting? If so, how's it going? If not, is there something you can give up for lent?

Hospitality

Hospitality, the friendly reception and treatment of guest and strangers (Dictionary.com). This is one of the many spiritual gifts God may have granted you with. Do you have this gift? I think that whether or not we have this character or not, we as Christ-followers need to learn to have and practice this trait. Following God's footsteps. He welcomed all sinners, tax payers, prostitutes, strangers, he never excluded anyone. He demonstrated hospitality to the point he gave up his life on the cross, not only for his disciples, his family, his friends, but for those who were against him, those who didnt know him, those who followed him, but even more importantly, those in generations to come.

Are you able to show hospitality to others? When a newcomer walks in, do you make them feel welcomed and accepted? Or do you tend to stay in your comfort zone without your bubble of friends/life? Is this an act of selfishness? "Selfishness will kill what God is trying to do within you." Maybe this newcomer will do something greater in your life for you.

Think about it from their perspective as well. Im sure you've been in their shoes, in a new environment, not knowing anyone. Just wanting to feel accepted, loved, and welcomed. If you know exactly how they feel, why cant you be that person for them?

I challenge you to practice hospitality. Think of others before yourself.

Sacrifice.

Have you ever thought of sacrificing something that you love so much just for God?
To be honest i feel like i wouldnt do it. (i know it's pretty bad) So now is the time of lent. Lent is when you give up something for 40 days so that you can get closer to God. So i decided to lent twitter (since im on it or im tweeting like every other second :$ )
I was very hesitant about it when i was thinking of what to lent and today we had a Bible study with our small group at church and someone said if Christ can give up his life for us then why cant we just sacrifice something as small as twitter.

That's when it hit me hard. I struggle to spend time with God while he gave up his ONE and ONLY son for ME? Unbelievable. I wasn't even born yet and he thought of me. I just couldn't believe it.

After this Bible study now know that Christ died for us and he sacrificed his most prized possession and if he can do it, then we can give up something small (such as time or social media) just to spend a little time with him.

Its Valentine's Day!

¹³ Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

john 15:13

Im not a big valentine's day guy, the whole lovey dovey thing, there were so many things going on at school today, maybe it be the candy grams, the roses, or the sing o grams, love was in the air. Seeing couples everywhere, just enjoying each other's company and presence. But things popped into my head today.

Valentine's day is clearly known as a day of love, and i feel like its a day where EXTRA love is shown. We should be showing as much love as we can, on every single day! Not just on the 14th of the second month. I challenge you to continue to love others, those you know, those you dont know, those you love, and those you hate. Love them. Give them a hug, give them a high five, you dont need to buy them a rose and have a candle light dinner, but just show love by simply helping them, caring for them, and being a friend.

Being single on valentine's day. People are all saying HAPPY SINGLE AWARENESS DAY, blah blah. I guess today i guess since its "the day of love", use the day to reflect on GOD's love for you. His never ending, never failing, everlasting love for you. Its deeper than the sea, and he sent his one and only son to die for you.

I think i've realized that love is truly shown through sacrifice. If you're willing to sacrifice something thats yours for someone else, thats love. It doesnt have to be something huge like a laptop or something, but something small. Time. Thought. Effort. These little things seem like they have no impact, but together can easily show your love for someone.

Happy Valentine's Day!

constant reminders.

¹³ Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— ¹⁴ yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.

james 4:13-14

Im sure you all have heard. Whitney Houston has passed, today. One of the legends and greatest vocalists of all time. And to me, its just another smack and another reminder.

Im constantly taking life for granted. Seeing this death, its probably one thats making a bit more of an impact on me. Confession: I didnt really listen to MJ, or Amy Winehouse, and even Whitney, but all these people passing, its just crazy. This one was more shocking because it was so out of the blue, so sudden, and she was only 48. Finding out while watching The Vow.

Thinking about it, what if i went to sleep tonight, and woke up, checking twitter to find out that one of my closest friends passed away. Just typing it right now, my heart hurts. I cant even stand to think about losing someone who i love. I just cant even think about it.

And thinking even further now, this is similar to the gospel. That God sent his ONE and ONLY son to die. It wasnt even sudden, it was planned, it was what was wanted. That someone COULD even LET someone that dear to them pass? That must have been horribly painful for our Father.

God is constantly sending these reminders that life is short, and to live it out each day. I dont think i will fully understand until it happens to me.

AGAPE Winter Retreat '12

"you mean the world to me."

Its been eight, memorable, amazing, unforgettable retreats with my fellowship, and today just concluded our final one before we graduate.

To be honest, it didnt really hit me that this was it until the bus ride home. And i question myself, did i enjoy myself to the fullest? Did i let God speak to me and completely let him enter my heart?

But first, lets take it back. This is going to be a quite a messy post. Just saying.

Sessions. This time around, Calvin Lam came in and spoke to us, and he used the prodigal son parable as his message. The overarching theme was "Are You a Fan or a Follower of Christ?". Here are just a few of my quick notes.

- In the parable, it talks about a son that takes his portion of inheritance, runs away and wastes it until he hits rock bottom. He comes to realize that he was wrong, and wanted to return, in hopes his father would take him in as a servant, but to his surprise his father had a full on party for him, rejoicing and celebrating his return.

- Are we like the son? Running away? Personally, i shared that i think i may have strayed away, may have fallen without even knowing. I need to run back into his arms, knowing that he is a father that forever loves me and will provide for me.

That night, we had our own reflection time, a time with God and i really realized that i've messed up. I have and am continuing to fail to let go of the sins i struggle with. In the past, i've looked out to everyone and saw people with perfect lives, everything figured out, but now i've come to see that everyone has their own package of struggles and its amazing to see us all come together, to support each other in His name.

- we then talked about the second half of the parable, it was about the older son, and his side of the story. He was working with his dad the entire time, but when his brother returned home, he was frustrated and didnt realize why the son that betrayed the family received such a celebration. He built an attitude of selfishness. His brother had already took his portion, but when he comes back, his dad gave the younger brother the elder brother's ROBE, RING, FATTENED CALF. This all was rightfully his, but was used to celebrated his younger brother's return. He just didnt understand.

- are we like the elder brother? Selfish and unable to see past ourselves and our wants?

- reflecting on this, i can relate to it as well. Calvin said something that hit my heart: "selfishness will kill what God is trying to do within us".

- i shared with my small group that i felt that my faith was wavering, i felt lost in my faith and that it had plateaued, and i think this is it. My selfishness has hindered me from letting God work within me. For instance, newcomers. To be honest, i dont like talking to new people, i do it sometimes because i feel bad, and i feel like i have to, but i feel like its a bad sign when its not out of love. Selfish. Im thinking about myself first.

- i really challenge myself and others to break away from this selfishness, step out of their comfort zone and into the realm of others. Seeing their needs, besides your own.

- Luke 14:33 really hit me, it was from the devo. It says,

³³ In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.

- EVERYTHING. God wants us to give up EVERYTHING. Thats the requirement, and i cant yet, but im learning to. "Salvation is free, but discipleships costs everything".

Speaking of this selfishness. I felt like i was trying to break out a bit more this weekend. I tried to sit with new people, and i got to know the grade 10s and 11s better. I really wanted to get to know more people, but within 48 hours, its simply not possible. Again, its hard talking to newcomers, and sacrificing something you want (ex. friends) for someone else. I have a friend who I look up to because he's so sweet, caring, gentle and welcoming. He's been that person that has gone out and spoke to me when i was alone, and he's reminded me that im important and someone cares. He sets a great example of putting their own wants behind and putting others before them. This same friend told me this morning how excited he was to be in my small group, looking forward to my sharing and what i had to say, but he was disappointed (i guess you can say) on how quiet i was. To be completely honest, that hit me really hard. I knew that he looked up to me, and to hear that, i felt like i failed him, disappointed him. I never knew anyone would look at me that way, so with that, i was motivated to open up even more, and share at the session this morning. Im hoping that through my sharing, it would help the younger grades open up more. They may be shy, but im hoping that through all this, they can learn to share as well. I remember how difficult, awkward, and shy it was when it came to sharing.

Retreat always comes with tears, laughter, joy, and memories. Whether if it may be the UFC championships that go on in the boys cabin, the intimate talks we have with each other in our grades, or the competitive atmosphere that comes with group games, retreat has always meant a lot to me. Thinking about it now, knowing that this is the end, that this weekend was the final weekend, im sad that its all over. I wont be able to have another moment like a moment at retreat with all 190+ people. Im truly grateful and blessed for everyone i've met, and i remember on the bus ride home, looking back and seeing all the grade 12s, how they've grown, how they've matured, it was like watching flowers bloom. You can pick out the artistic ones, the loud ones, the dramatic ones, the musical ones, the list goes on. You can clearly see that God pieced each and everyone of us together to make up this group of seventeen/eighteen year olds. Im thankful for all of them. They've impacted me, and have definitely molded me and have made me who i am.

Was this final retreat, epic, and big? No, it was a typical retreat, but thats all i need.

verse of the day: Luke 14:33

³³ In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.

Because He First..

Because He First Loved.

Because He First Forgave.

Because He First Shined.

Im reading this eBook by John Piper called "Exposing The Dark Work of Abortion", and i've only read the intro, but this one thing stuck out to me, which i think, like everything else i've been writing about, is a great reminder.

We follow Christ and we do what we do because he did it first.

To sum up what he wrote, he went through 4 passages:

IT DOES NOT SAY: "We dont forgive because then we will earn forgiveness from Christ." (Eph 4:32)

- we forgive because we have already been forgiven.

IT DOES NOT SAY: "We dont imitate Christ to then be adopted." (Eph 5:1)

- the verse says as LOVED CHILDREN, we dont need to do something to be his child because we already are.

IT DOES NOT SAY: Walk in love so that Christ will start loving us and give himself up for us."(Eph 5:2)

- Its Christ loved us and gave himself for us, and THAT is why we walk in love.

IT DOES NOT SAY: Be light of the world so that you can become children of light" (Eph 5:8)

- we are already children of light, so continue to radiate his love and life.

"Forgive-out of your forgiveness. Love-out of your being loved. Shine-with the light that Christ is in you." - John Piper

Fire.

It was just another Friday that passed by. Waking up, eating breakfast, then off to school.
Period 1: Math. all we did was review. i sat there not knowing what to do (cuz i fnished it the night before) and then i realized BIO QUIZ NEXT PERIOD! so i studied long and hard then BEEEEPPPP

Period 2: Bio. Started off like a regular quiz day. desks separated. bags on the floor and notes are out of sight. after we finished the quiz the teacher left the class to get something from another room. then all of a sudden BEEEEEEEPPPPP!

FIRE ALARM IS OFF! It was no drill. Why would they set a drill at THIS temperature it must have been - 10 AT LEAST. Some people were in SHORTS and a T-SHIRT (for gym) and some in T-SHIRT and skinnnies. and a few lucky ones managed to go to their locker and grab their jackets.
No one knew what was going on, all we saw was a bunch of tlea-ers walking towards the field. we stood outside for a good 45 min, clueless. none of the teachers knew what was going on. After 45 min of standing outside in the cold we had to move and go to an elementary school nearby. We totally bombarded their school and we chilled in the gym and library. Once we got back inside the school (after a good hour and a bit) we had to stay in our classrooms and wait for announcements. After they announced the period schedules it was already onto fourth period. No one was at school and so i decided to skip.
AND SO that was my school day (: what an amazing and unforgettable way to end of this stressful week.

THANKFULLY no one got hurt. I realized that although we had to suffer through the coldness outside and the horrible stench of the fire (caused by a cigar) it's NOTHING compared to what Jesus had to go through. HE sacrificed himself for YOU and I. He went through pain and suffering just for YOU. His pain is NOTHING compared to standing outside for 45 min in the cold. I know it was a horrible situation but i learned to thank God for keeping us safe and sacrificing himself.
Who knows what could have happened. The fire could have hit a gas pipe which will lead to the school EXPLODING!

Through these tough times we should thank God for them. We may not like how they work out but God's got your path set and ready for you.

Clearing The Air: Salvation ≠ Works

Many people think like this, and i think its needed to clear it up and get it out once and for all. Salvation does not come from good works. God does not list down every good or bad work, and then weigh it and then decide if you are "worthy". That isnt how it works. Many MANY people think that doing these good works gets you into heaven. Many people do good works just to feel good about themselves.

But as followers of Christ, thats not really how it works. I've learnt that its more of the other way around. We've confessed, repented, and believed, and through our faith we have been saved. Believing that God sent his only son to die for us, that he took our sin and died, but more importantly rose again. He's the reason we live, and because of this sacrificial act, we're thankful and we're grateful. Thats why we choose to live out his name and reflect his nature and character, through those good works.

Let us continue to spread and share the good news and God's love through our speech and our actions. Lead and influence by example.

Procrastinating.

We all procrastinate. From school work to doing chores.
But with God... Does he really want us to procrastinate on HIS works? NO! He gives us time to think about certain things but if we don't act upon them then, we won't be able to accept the challenges that He has given to us.

It may take a while to get things done but, in the end, it will be done. It takes time. We have to know our limitations and work with them. If we just sit back and relax things won't get done. For example, if your parents tell you to wash the dishes or clean your room and you sit sleep or watch TV. Will anything be get done? NOPE! NOT AT ALL.

We need to work to achieve the goals that we have received. We CAN'T procrastinate on the tasks that God has given us. Being a servant of God we need to be sacrificial, obedient, patient, and everything in the Fruit of the Spirit (and many more characteristics).

God wants us to do that, too. He gave us what we have for a reason: to make a difference for him in the world. To do that most effectively, we have to be wise.

-Rick Warren.

So complex.

Last night as i studied for a bio quest i realized how complex we are.

The test was on the digestive system and respiratory system.
This made me realize how much God loves us. He spent HIS time to create each and every one of us. He made our insides and out. From taking a simple breath to swallowing food. He created a system for our body to follow. He focused on each and every one of us. He made us all special. We are all unique and there is only ONE of YOU in this UNIVERSE!

He created us with many different systems. We may feel like everyone is the same but in God's eyes, we are all different. We are made in a complex way. He keeps us all on track physically and spiritually. We all have our different ways in taking on a challenge but without God nothing can be done. We have to set aside time to thank Him for everything that He has done for us. From sacrificing HIS one and only son, Jesus Christ, to creating you!

We have our own complex brains and systems but without God, we wouldn't be here.