Tumble of Death

Grade 12? You're probably feeling the exact same way. Its mid-May, there's prom coming up, almost all the results from universities are in, we pretty much know where we are going, and it feels like we're trapped birds that have almost broken loose. So easy to just give up now, and just start to enjoy whats to come.

Im sure we were all reminded of that last semester, i remember being told to stick it out until the end, and i totally thought to myself, "no, i won't get that, I'm a hard working student right? this won't affect me." But nope, it is getting to me, big time. There are certain courses where technically i don't need anymore, could just give up and let it slide, but i still have a few strings holding me back from that, but it feels like each day that passes, another string snaps, and its only a matter of time before I'm free.

We can't. We can't give up. As easy as it feels. I think we can all feel like this sometimes in our walk with Christ, that we feel like we can just give up. We've worked so hard, and we're near the end, that we can just let it slip and start to enjoy it earlier. But we have to stick it through. There's literally a month left until exams come around, and if we're still in this slacking mode, how are we going to pick it up for exams? Its easy to fall, and harder to climb back up.

Im praying that God gives me the strength to continue, to not fully give up, to continue to work hard, and stick it out until June 19th. Can you pull through? Will you fall into temptation or will you trudge through? God calls us not to be lazy, to set a good example and work hard. Lets keep it up for the next month!

A sluggard’s appetite is never filled,     but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied.

Proverbs 13:4 

⁴

under construction.

Are there any days where everything is just perfect and ideal? I doubt it, we're going to always be going through something, a struggle, or a challenge, with a friend, or with yourself. But life can never be perfect as disappointing as it sounds.

Because we are work in progress. God is constantly working on us, crafting and moulding us into something greater and something stronger. Undergoing all these changes brings up mess, everywhere. When you're renovating, making an art piece, working or studying, in the process of something, there is mess. From the dust and wood shavings, the paint and the clay, or the sheets and pencils, there is mess.

I personally hate mess, hate when things are unorganized, it makes the future (near or far) so blurry, and it worries me and i get anxious over it. Many times when things are messy, we forget to look at the big picture, and get pushed to the verge of giving up. We have to keep the final result in mind. We know that after we renovate, there will be a better, and new space. When we finish our art, there will be a beautiful masterpiece, and when we finish studying, we'll be confident for our test, so as God is crafting us, refining us, through all the hurt and pain, know that after all the mess, there will be brilliant, hand-made by the Lord of Lords.

⁶ being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Philippians 1:6 

mistakes, not failure

Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone isn't perfect. We've all fallen short of God's glory. But although we make these mistakes, and stumble, we cannot admit failure.

Today was another embarrassing worship session for me. I always seem to somehow mess up on stage, and make a fool of myself. Do i save it well? I don't know, but today during a particular song, i was in the moment and thought the song was over, but apparently it was just the interlude, they played longer, and then i realized it was the chorus again. I go to sing again, but then they die down, and i assume its the end of the song, only to realize its not. So I sing the ling really oddly, say "SORRY" and keep going. Mistakes. They're acceptable, but i can't admit failure and just walk off the stage. I just laughed it off. Whats best was that I could look out into the congregation, and see my friends smiling back at me, and i couldn't help but feel reassured, and smile as well.

Many times, we get the vibe that following Christ means perfection, that we have to 100% holy and righteous, can't have any slip ups, but thats a misunderstanding. God knows we can't be perfect, but that doesn't mean we should just give up and stop altogether. Instead, we should strive for it. God knows when you're trying, so persevere!

¹⁶ 

for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again,    but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes.

Proverbs 24:16 

Endure! - Part 1

¹⁹ Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, ²⁰ by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, ²¹and since we have a great priest over the house of God, ²²let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. ²³Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. ²⁴ And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, ²⁵ not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

²⁶ If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, ²⁷ but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.

Hebrews 10:19-27

Lately, you can see that my posts have been more topic based instead of passage based, and i can feel the gap between his Word and my life, and its weak. Im starting to really realize the power of his Word, how it is the bread of life. Indulging in it is a must, if you stop, you start to stray away.

I came across this passage while flipping through my bible, and its under "A Call to Persevere". There's more to it and i'll make it the next post, like a MINI MINI series. At this moment in time, there's been a lot i've been trying to push through, and there's been little glimmers of hope that are pushing me through. God will last and not leave my side, so putting my hope in Him is the best choice.

How sure are you of your salvation? (v.22) I remember at my baptism interview, i was asked "if you were to die right now, would you go to heaven or hell?" I remember answering hell. Because of all the things and sins i've committed, there was no way i was near that "perfect" Christian that deserves heaven. Oh boy was i wrong. God hands this gift out to each and every one of us, we take it when we repent and believe in Him. It still took me many many years after to fully understand the assurance of my salvation. Only until recently, I came to realize that my name is already up in heaven in the book of life, that i can say that i AM going to heaven. Christ is my God and my Saviour, and i've dedicated my life to him, no matter how hard the road may be. His life and his sacrifice has cleansed our hearts. We now have the help of the holy spirit, we can be stronger in becoming righteous in a holy manner. May we live our lives each month, each week and each day glorifying God in ALL we do.

Hope. (v.23) we're always looking for hope. It times of trouble especially. We must hold onto Christ because his will keep his promises. That he will one day descend from heaven and will end all sin, all pain, when judgement day will arrive. I await that day. I think i tend to forget this promise and thus lose hope easily.

While on earth, with these challenges and hardships, we cannot do it alone (v. 24-25). I remember struggling through things, and i remember focusing on Philippians 4:13 "i can do all things through Christ" that was my motivator. And as true as that was, i was strong enough, and i had to have other people. Thats why God made people. So we can work and help each other get through trials and troubles. Its always nice to know there's someone there for you, someone you can talk to. Find accountability. Find community. Find support. Find unity. You'll find a good group of people you can talk to, share with, be transparent with and can open up to. Its so important.

If you say that you are a follower of Christ, you are his child and his representative. If you know that God does not like sin, yet you continue to do so, it isn't right. (v.26-27) But God is a good God. He gives us free will. You can do whatever you want. He won't stop you and wont force you. If you continue to indulge in the world, then he'll just wait, hoping for the day you turn back to him. Judgement day is coming for all of us. God will go through all of us, one by one, looking through what we've done, if we were true followers and servants of Christ.

We have continue to fight and push forward.

Salvation is assured for us.

There is hope in God's love and promises.

He's given us people that will support and encourage us.

We cannot go back to our usual desires and sinful habits.

¹² Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Romans 12:12

not an option.

Today in calculus class, i heard that many people decided to drop the course after getting their midterm marks because they were doing poorly in the course. Personally, i don't think one should drop the course. Okay, maybe you aren't doing well, but you have chances to pull it up, and its good exposure so you have some knowledge before you go into university. I was talking to a buddy about it, and i really recommended him to not to drop it. You're already halfway, why drop it now?

After school, getting home, working, thinking about the stuff I talked about yesterday with friends and relationships. Its the same thing. I shouldn't give up on it. Yes its tiring and its hard, but just because I'm doing "poorly" doesn't mean i can just drop it completely. I've actually considered to just be alone. forever. People always say oh forever alone, but i feel like its reality for me.

Im slowly trying to pick myself up, and keep the ball rolling with all the school stress, the university pressures, and everything else in this world. Just trying to push myself forward.

God wouldn't want me to give up.

I know he won't give me something I can't handle.

If he thinks/knows I can overcome this, i will.

Thats what i plan to do. If it's his will, i'll do what i can to fulfill it.

Giving up isn't an option, pushing through it is.

² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 1:2-4

Road to Calvary (VII)

He has risen! Hallelujah! Christ has risen and has defeated the grave! All praise and glory to God now and forevermore!

Today during the sermon, the speaker started with clips from the movie Passion of The Christ. She reminded us that it isn't just a movie, but reality. I started watching, but within the first minute, I had to look away. It was just too much, and i couldn't take it. The blood. The pain. The scars. The beating. The whipping. All for me. All for you. Seeing the nine-tail whip lash onto his flesh and rip it away when taken back. Watching the nails being pounded into his wrist and his feet. Seeing how rough they were, even trying to think of how severe that pain was is unbearable. It took that clip for me to really and fully realize the degree of pain Christ went through for us. How much he took on, the sin of MANKIND on his shoulders, dying for all of us. That's true love. We can't and should not sugar coat it anymore.

But, although he was crucified and had died, his promise reigned, and he rose from the grave three days later.

¹ Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. ² So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!”

³ So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. ⁴Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. ⁵ He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. ⁶ Then Simon Peter came along behind him and went straight into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, ⁷as well as the cloth that had been wrapped around Jesus’ head. The cloth was still lying in its place, separate from the linen. ⁸ Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed. ⁹ (They still did not understand from Scripture that Jesus had to rise from the dead.) ¹⁰ Then the disciples went back to where they were staying.

John 20:1-10

The third day, Mary and Simon Peter went to visit the tomb, and to their surprise, Jesus wasn't there. There's isn't much to say about this passage. Its all facts. But knowing that Christ has risen brings us true and eternal hope.

Christ has risen, he has conquered death. Something us humans have been trying to do for centuries. He has overcome the greatest thing. From temptations, to death, he is victorious! And because of this, we should be so thankful knowing that someone so powerful and perfect is right next to us. If he can overcome something as great as death, with God by our side, we can be victorious over whatever sin we are dealing with.

We sang a newer song at service today. Christ is Risen by Matt Maher. The lyrics are so powerful, especially in the bridge, and singing it today, i can really sing it, not with the words but with my heart. It was like singing and saying to the devil that we are victorious, you cannot win, we cannot lose, and that God is greater than anything in this world.

"O death, where is your sting? O hell, where is your victory? O church, come stand in the light! Our God is not dead, He's Alive, He's Alive!"

What powerful lyrics. But that wasn't the only song that impacted me today.

During the baptism today, we sang the song Because He Lives. The past while i've just been down in the dumps, wanting to give up, to give in, and just to stop. It wasn't worth it, but the lyrics again here pushed me forward.

"Because he lives, I can face tomorrow,

Because he lives, All fear is gone.

Because I know, He holds the future,

And life is worth the living, just because He lives."

It is because of God's love, Christ's resurrection that I live. That I continue to fight each and every day. He is protecting me in his loving arms, there is nothing to fear because he has a perfect plan for me. The part that struck me most was "and life is worth the living, JUST because He lives". JUST because. He's the reason why life is worth living, JUST GOD. JUST CHRIST. Nothing else.

Praise God.

He works in such magical, mysterious ways.

I cannot do anything by exalt his almighty name.

²⁰ I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Galatians 2:20

endurance!

Everyone has their bad days. Today just so happened to be mine. I felt like the day was going to be okay, but as time passed, things just seemed to get worse. Hearing about 10238 summatives to be scheduled in one week, just that mood of not wanting to work grow, slipping into the traps of the Devil.

Im so glad that i have support and people checking up on me. Its the greatest feeling. I was able to email one of my great friends who i can put my trust in. Just simply having people to vent to and someone to listen is quite the relief.

Endurance. Life was never promised to be an easy breeze. Each and everyday we have to push ourselves forward. Some days may pass easier than others, but life is life. There will be problems, there will be mistakes, there will be flaws, mistakes and struggles, but we must endure.

2 Timothy 4 talks about running this race, this enduring race. It never ends. We are in a constant lifelong battle with the devil. Like it says "⁷ I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful." Can you say that this reigns true in your life and will continue to do so?

We will all slip up. Its okay. But we must repent, turn back to God knowing he's already waiting for you with open arms, in overflowing love for you. Confess and you will be forgiven.

Although my day was messy and thrown around, God has new mercies on us each day, and I promise that i will not fall behind, and will keep running this race until the end for my Lord my God has gave up his son for me. Im grateful and blessed.

1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. ² We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.

Hebrews 12:1-2