Journey: Guangxi

We focused on anger and forgiveness today. We all get into conflicts, there are always difference in opinions, and just when people don't get along. It often can spark anger, and tension, but thats completely fine, no one ever said that you had to get along with every person you see. But how you deal with it is whats most important.

When there's conflict, there are two main roads we can take.

Bitterness. You can take this conflict and make it anger, you can twist it into revenge, and act upon it. It can get much worse, its practically playing with fire. Whats worse is that when we are bitter when we hold grudges, it doesn't help. It affects us, our relationship with others as well as our relationship with God. It will eat you from the inside out and the bitterness will eventually start pouring out of you.

Forgiveness. God calls us to forgive, continuously, over and over again. When forgiving, you are channelling Christ's love for us, and similar to bitterness or anything in general, as you channel and invest yourself into something more and more, you eventually start to be it and it starts to reflect and pour out of you naturally.

Along the lines of conflict, forgiveness, and bitterness, the next step is repentance. Especially when you've done something wrong. Repentance isn't a formula, some ritual you do, but it is a choice that you make, a change in thinking. When you decide to confess and repent, you acknowledge what you are doing wrong, and you make an effort and change, to stop, to fight it. This allows for growth, and strengthening in your faith and in your character.

On a short terms missions, even every day, we're dealing with problems and people, we must learn to follow Christ, forgive and love. Turn the other cheek.

²⁵ And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

Mark 11:25 

Journey: Guangxi

Unity.

Unity is necessary on all projects, on all levels, to have a good communication, and good relationships with one another. Without unity, the team can easily fall apart. Especially in a missions trip, when you're in the battlefield, you need all the support you can get, and without it, its extremely easy for Satan to tear and bring you down.

There are four main things that will break unity.

Gold. Resembling material possessions, if we have an attitude of wanting something to gain out of it, may it be money or a gift, its isn't the right attitude to serve with. You're there to give, not gain.

Glory. Serving and helping out, you are usually using your gifts and talents to glorify God, but if you are doing it with intentions of receiving praise and to show off your talents, for your own glory, that is also the wrong perspective to view ministry.

Guys/Girls. Ministry is not an opportunity to mingle and to get to know others, brewing relationships, especially romantic ones.

Gods. Before you go on a missions, you have to know the priorities in your heart. Where does God stand? He should be at the top. Are there other things that may be fighting that spot with God, may it be people, or materialistic things, but we have to make sure we have the right heart and attitude before entering the battlefield.

All these things have one thing in common, they all do not have God in mind. They're all self-oriented attitudes. All team members should have God first, working to please and honour him, and with the same goals and attitudes, unity can thrive.

Practical ways to sustain unity.

1) Positive and good communication. Do not assume things and over analyze things. Learn to confront others in love and privately.

2) Rejoice with one another. Seeing yourself and others succeed are always great motivations, learn to support one another. Share with others how God is working in your life!

3) Empathize with one another. Don't hide your feelings, be vulnerable and share with others, and be sensitive when someone decides to open up to you. Its through transparency will tighter relationships be made.

4) Be generous with one another. Take care of one another and give to one another. These members are your team for the missions time period, watch out for each other.

5) Forgive one another. You're going to be spending x amount of days with the same people, and you can get frustrated. In times of stress and trouble, things will get hard, but forgive each other.

6) Affirm our common goal. Be constantly reminded of why you are here and who you are serving. Its easy to get distracted and stray away in the pride and the hype of all things.

¹⁰ I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought.

1 Corinthians 1:10 

change is coming.

Watching Glee tonight, it's extremely relevant at the moment because the kids at McKindly High are graduating, and they're basically going through the phase at the same time as us. As they await their university responses, as they plan and start to prepare to move out, as they say their final goodbyes and go their separate ways. Tonight's episode really helped me realize the change that was coming and how unprepared I was.

I felt like I am somewhat prepared. I know where i want to go next year, and I'm excited to move out. Like I said in previous posts, all the academic portions I'm prepared and ready to go with, but with friends, family, relationships and people, I'm not ready to say my final goodbyes. I can't help but to think of what the last moment with the people of this stage of life will be like. What will happen our last time, everyone together. I cannot bear to think of how life will be like in a new environment with new people.

Although these people aren't completely gone and cut from my life, but its very probably that certain people will fade, and only the true friends will remain. Who? Maybe people I want, maybe people that will surprise me. Whether or not i like it, this change is coming.

God has a plan. This is something that is very reassuring for me. That he has a perfect and better plan already being incorporated. But as excited I am to see it, and watch it unravel, i know that parts of it do not consist of what I want. For instance, this specific friend, or this particular situation. So I'm scared, while at the same time I'm excited.

What I can do now, is live in the moment and truly treasure all God has blessed me with here and now and continue to move forward from there. The change is coming, most possibly faster than i want.

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 

Jeremiah 29:11 

Journey: Guangxi

This summer, I'm heading out Guangxi, China for a short terms missions trip and tonight we had our first training session, where each meeting revolves a specific theme, from expectations, to love, to unity, to the actually lessons we're teaching.

At the end, one of the veterans came up to share with us and he talked about the journey. Not just for this specific trip, but for missions trips in general. We're going for two weeks to teach english, but thats not the only thing. That's only one small portion of the entire journey. He challenged us to reflect and think about this process. It starts now actually, or even before. As he said, when you first start praying about it. Thats what I intend to do with this series, i'll try to update myself and y'all on my journey. From today, the first meeting, the ten weeks of training we'll go through, the two weeks of execution, the the debrief afterwards. Its a long process for a short term missions. He also challenged us with two questions. "So What?", "What's the next step?". These are things we need to answer after the trip (which i will eventually, as long as I remember). He said that many people usually get a spiritual high from these missions and once they return, it just drops back.

Going along with the theme of tonight, expectations. They really talked about preparing ourselves personally, for the change in environment, the change of lifestyle, from the living conditions, the food, and the people. And because we're going with a bunch of people, we focused on unity as well, and prayer.

There were so many new faces there although more than half of the people were from my church, RHCCC. It was interesting to get to know new people, and i could already feel myself being pushed out of my comfort zone. Im excited to interact with this new group of people, knowing that God brought us together for a reason. How i'll mesh with them? That's a whole other story. Im praying that I can be open to them, and just be able to have peace and unity with our whole group.

Personally, reflecting on everything so far, i can say that I'm not that excited for the trip. Im giving up so many things for this trip, my OJ missions, day camp, overnight camp, and i know I'm really going to miss them. I hope they don't forget me! But as i journey into this new realm, of new people, and new experiences, i pray that i'll keep my eyes and heart open to new ideas, new cultures, and new encounters. May I learn to be willing to take in what God wants to teach me. May all of it be for God's glory now and forevermore.

¹⁷ And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Colossians 3:17

not an option.

Today in calculus class, i heard that many people decided to drop the course after getting their midterm marks because they were doing poorly in the course. Personally, i don't think one should drop the course. Okay, maybe you aren't doing well, but you have chances to pull it up, and its good exposure so you have some knowledge before you go into university. I was talking to a buddy about it, and i really recommended him to not to drop it. You're already halfway, why drop it now?

After school, getting home, working, thinking about the stuff I talked about yesterday with friends and relationships. Its the same thing. I shouldn't give up on it. Yes its tiring and its hard, but just because I'm doing "poorly" doesn't mean i can just drop it completely. I've actually considered to just be alone. forever. People always say oh forever alone, but i feel like its reality for me.

Im slowly trying to pick myself up, and keep the ball rolling with all the school stress, the university pressures, and everything else in this world. Just trying to push myself forward.

God wouldn't want me to give up.

I know he won't give me something I can't handle.

If he thinks/knows I can overcome this, i will.

Thats what i plan to do. If it's his will, i'll do what i can to fulfill it.

Giving up isn't an option, pushing through it is.

² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 1:2-4

pas un cercle.

In french class, we're reading "Le Petit Prince" which explores the life of a curious prince, who travels from planet from planet hoping to make friendships and just explore.

He one day lands on asteroid 327 where he meets a drunkard. He learns that the drunkard is going through a cycle, of shame, then he drinks more, then he feels shameful for drinking, and he drinks more, and its a non stop, never ending cycle. We discussed in class about many cycles in our society. Simple things we deal with everyday, we say we dont have time, and then we procrastinate, and then we complain we dont have time, and we continue to procrastinate. We can also take it on a global level with pollution. As the selfish world we are, if we want energy, or if we want anything, we get it. And through the production of this, we produce CO2 and other toxins released into this planet. We want more, we continue to destroy the earth more and more because of what we want.

As a person who has been a follower of Christ for most of my life, i think its very very easy for us to fall into a cycle, into a routine, whether it may be prayer, devotionals, church or fellowship. Its very easy to go because you have to go. We have to always carry a spark and burning desire for following our God. I know that i have many times, just done devotions because i had to.

Our relationship with Christ is not a cycle. Its not just a bunch of works/actions we do. There more to it. Like a friendship, or a relationship, there is no formula, repeated process in it. You dont always have a candle light dinner at 7pm on thursday nights, you make it new, make it special and different. Our commitment with Christ is special, is unique, and is important. Dont make it apart of our daily cycle.

³⁷ Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the first and greatest commandment.

Matthew 22:37-38

God Cares.

Luke 12:6-7

⁶ Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. ⁷Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

You are worth something. Jesus knows the number of hairs on your very head. He uses hair to communicate his great love for you and his care for you. The Creator who cares about the life and events of the lowly sparrow cares much more about you! Every detail of your life is important. Every circumstance. Every fear. Every worry. God cares.

Don't ever think that you aren't good enough. I had a phase where i didn't know what to do. The thought kept going through my head, "I'm just not good enough." I realized that I don't need to be perfect to have a relationship with God. He cares for us and he's always there for us. He loves the sinners of the world no matter how much they've been through. All that junk that we've been though, he understands it all. He looks at you as his art. You're perfect and beautiful. You're amazing.

Truth.

Interesting how the previous post was also on truth, but today, i've decided to take on a different aspect of truth.

Throughout my life, it has only been recently that i've met people (like 2-3) that have truly been a friend to me and have stuck by me, and i've come to realize one important thing that i look for in a friend, or for that friend to be someone i can trust, share and be transparent with. This trait is being non-judgemental, and understanding. That no matter what i may say, no matter who i may be, what struggles i go through, they will not judge, and they will learn to understand and accept who i am, and what baggage i come with. There are certain friends that may joke around, and give you attitude, faces, or reactions when something may be revealed, and whether or not it is intended as a joke or not, it hurts.

I've also learnt that something extremely hard in any relationship is "speaking in truth and speaking in love". When you confront someone about something their doing, it is EXTREMELY difficult to do that without risking the break in a relationship. How exactly do you do that? How can you tell someone their doing some wrong without hurting their feelings or without discouraging them, or making it feel like you've gone against their back? I've learnt that the first step is the relationship itself. You have to build that friendship first, to gain trust, to get to know each other better, and then when you don confront your friend, they will know that you're doing it out of love. With this, i still find it really hard to confront others, without sounding like im against them.

Sometimes people come to me and speak the truth to me, and to be honest, lately, it hurts, a LOT. Although i know its to be constructive, and as a confrontation, but i've learnt that the truth really hurts sometimes. I think we all do take it personally sometimes, but we have to constantly be reminding ourselves that its them speaking out of love for us. The past week i've learnt that truth hurts, but i need to be constantly reminding myself that its for the good, and i truly appreciate the honesty. It means a LOT for someone to be able to say something like that, and it means a lot, but it just hurts.

Im not sure where im going with this post, but i will refer to this one verse, Proverbs 27:17,

Iron sharpens iron,

and one man sharpens another.

Although the truth might hurt, but friends are there to SHARPEN YOU. Sharpening isnt a nice smooth easy process, it hurts, but it makes you sharper, and stronger.

verse of the day: Ephesians 4:15

¹⁵ Rather,speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who isthe head, into Christ,

Truth?

14 “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.² In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? ³ And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. ⁴ And you know the way to where I am going.” ⁵ Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?” ⁶ Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. ⁷ If you had known me, you would have known my Father also. From now on you do know him andhave seen him.”

⁸ Philip said to him, “Lord, show us the Father, and it is enough for us.”⁹Jesus said to him, “Have I been with you so long, and you still do not know me, Philip? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? ¹⁰ Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on my own authority, but the Father who dwells in me does his works. ¹¹ Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me, or else believe on account of the works themselves.

¹² “Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father. ¹³ Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. ¹⁴ If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.

John 14:1-14

I was able to read through this passage several times throughout the day, and i think thats extremely necessary when we are trying to understand scripture, to fully break it down and understand each word and phrase. I also think that if one has a open heart and mind to receiving the word, it will speak and be understood different each time.

When I read verses 5-6, it immediately brought me back to a discussion we had at retreat, when someone brought up the question, "how do we know Christianity is the true faith?" I confess and admit that i've had my doubts, and im sure we all have. We may question, what if this isnt the "right" way, what if after we pass, there was no heaven, it was all a trick, what if the pastors knew about something and were just tricking us all along? How can i be sure that Christianity is what i should believe in? And as we were discussing, these are a few points that came up. Firstly, i've learnt that out of all the different religions, from Buddhism to Hinduism, that Christianity seems to be the only INVITING others to come see what this "relationship" is about. We also brought up a second point, that was that Christianity is not self-oriented. Many other religions are based on doing deeds/goods to gain blessings or goodness. Whereas in Christianity, Christ has already died for you, and he presents each and every one of us with the gift of eternal life, and it is only if we accept and take the gift, is then that we become saved. And therefore like in verse 12, we do these good works not to gain salvation or approval, but out of thanksgiving, out of commitment, as we follow Christ's footsteps.

side note: I myself am a Christian and believe that through Christ, believing that he died on the cross, and has forgiven me of my sins has saved me from the consequences of sins, and has granted me eternal life. Although i may say that Christianity is the "right" (lack of better word) way, it does not mean that all other religions are wrong, there are definitely things about other religions we can learn from and follow.

Verse 8 also stood out to me. Many many of us are like Philip, we are constantly looking for more. Again back to the retreat discussion, we talked about proof and facts. The world is all about facts, especially the science realm of things, we need proof we need evidence to believe that something is true, but this is faith, not science. There are so many crazy questions that we are curious about, for instance, how the dinosaurs fit into the whole seven days of creation, but over the years of being a Christian i've learnt that sometimes, its just not humanly possible for one to fully understand all this. We can go ask the father when we see him one day! Its hard to believe like that, blindly, but that is faith! Believing without seeing. Its impossible to have all the questions answered. I think this also goes for a test, that with these curiosities, these things that dont fully make sense, its another type of test of our faith. If we can continue to follow him, knowing that he is greater and has plans for us, even though many of our questions are not answered.

People are constantly afraid of change, of the unknown, but are you willing to dig deeper and follow Christ and let him take the reigns of your life?

verse of the day: Ephesians 2:8-10

⁸ Forby grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing;it is the gift of God, ⁹ not a result of works, so that no one may boast.¹⁰ For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

competition?

³⁷ Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.³⁸ And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.

matthew 10:37-38

Whoever loves their OWN FATHER and MOTHER MORE than Christ is not worthy of God. One may ask, why is God so mean, that we cant even love our parents? And it goes on to say even our sons and daughters?

Reading my devotionals today, it put this verse into a different perspective. The overall lesson was competition and priorities. Within your heart, you only have one spot. One reigning spot that rules all. As Christians, Christ should be in that spot. But sin is very tempting sometimes. And there are other things that may fill up that hole. May it be a relationship, or a sexual desire, pride, materialism, or greed, something will fill the hole.

What's in your heart? Is there something competing with Christ for that? I love the last verse, whoever does not take up the cross cannot follow me. We've stated before, being a Christian is hard. Its a commitment. Its like marriage. Life long (but this relationship with God is longer than that). You have to be +100% dedicated to him. Nothing should be competing with Him. He is the creator, he is the king of kings, how is it that the latest apple gadget or yourself can beat that? The one that loves you, gave up His son for you? Why is this even a fight? He should be way up the scale. I dont know my answer either. I dont think i've fully realized the degree of love, and sacrifice the gospel is yet. It hasnt fully hit me yet.

There should be NO competition between Christ and the things of this world. He lasts, worldly things fade.

nothing will...

³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

romans 8:38-39

Kelly presented us with this verse at retreat. Its amazingly powerful, looking back on it. That NOTHING on this earth, no power, no person. No creature, no creation, no angel or demon can take away God's love for us. He will forever love us, forever provide for us, and forever be our best friend. Its up to you whether to accept this love or not.

Talking to my friend just now, we talked about acceptance and the love from people. At fellowship, at church, at school, anywhere. The truth is, everyone may say "im here for you", or "im your best friend", but the truth is, we're all going to fail. we cannot satisfy. ONLY God's love will. Thats the greatest news. Dont rely so heavily on people. Unfortunately, they will eventually fail you.