zero gravity.

That feeling, when you're in outer space, where they're no gravity, nothing, you're just floating in space, and there's nothing. nothing to grab onto, nothing to ground you, keep you in place. You're just floating there, helpless. thats how i feel today. As if time has froze, and I'm stuck in my body, unable to escape, stuck, and there's absolutely nothing i can do.

Things have been rather rough, but today, it just all piled up. I woke up today knowing and having a gut feeling that the day wasn't going to go well. And it didn't. From not feeling well physically in the morning, to being plain out tired, having constant thoughts running through my mind that put myself down, Satan taunting at me, doubts, guilt, regrets, all piled up. It got to the point where instead of pushing myself to get through life day by day, today it was pushing myself to get through the next minute. And finally after my day was over, i couldn't take it. And i let it out. I broke down.

¹³ No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

1 Corinthians 10:13

I always think of this verse. With everything going on in my mind, I kept thinking to myself. Why. God promised me that he would not give me more than i can bear, and i feel like this is just way too much. I can't handle it. Is he just trying to push me off the edge? I really can't go through this anymore, i want to give up. I want to escape, but I'm stuck with this life and this reality. I want to leave but i can't.

My good friend was checking up on me and gave me this verse. It was the perfect verse at that time.

⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Im feeling much better now. We sang You Hold Me Now at SPLOXA today, and it really spoke to me. The lyrics, i could truly relate, and listening to it again after all the craze, it was comforting, it was reassuring and it gave me all i wanted, to be held tight, to be loved. It opened the window of hope we should set out eyes on. Heaven.

No weeping.

No hurt or pain.

No suffering.

You hold me now.

No darkness.

No sick or lame.

No hiding.

You hold me now.

Im so ready to get that. To get to heaven, into that place with no pain, no tears and no suffering. But for now on earth, i will delight in my sufferings and my hardships because God is good and its with these pains i will grow stronger. For when i am weak, i am strong.

⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Hello, My Name is: Provider

Lets try something new. I have my "Clearing The Air:" series, where i tackle misunderstandings and concepts of Christianity from homosexuality, to baptism. Here's a new one i want to bring up, "Hello, My Name is:" series. This will be i guess introducing our God to you. He has so many names. Yahweh, Alpha & Omega, Lamb of God. But today i want to talk about his name: Provider.

Our God provides. He provides everything we need, but not necessarily everything we want. As GOD, the great, everlasting, almighty God, life is in his hands. He sees all, the past, the present, and the future and he knows EXACTLY what is best for you, at what time. He is above all else and works to give you the best. But it is your choice whether to receive it or not.

In times of struggle and weakness, may it be physically, financially, God will provide. I remember having my parents give me an assignment once to help improve my english, through writing. They wanted me to write a list of the things we have to bring in case of an emergency. And I write one thing. God. Because he will provide with everything we need.

This requires a LOT of trust. We need to put our full faith in our God, knowing that he knows all, and putting our entire life into his hands, knowing he will steer us in the right direction.

He's known as the Provider. Are you letting him do his job? Or are you still trying to take it upon yourself to provide for yourself?

Be Still.

After doing "I Lift My Hands" for worship yesterday, i really found comfort in the song. And listening to it, and singing it was really reassuring and it really calms my heart and my soul. Here are a few of the words that really touch me.

"be still, there is a healer

his love is deeper than the sea.

his mercy it is unfailing

his arms, a fortress for the weak."

"i lift my hands to believe again,

he is my refuge, he is my strength,

as i pour out my heart, these things, i remember

you are faithful God, forever."

Be still, KNOWING that someone is there that loves you.

A fortress for those who are weak. Thats all of us. He is my refuge and he is my strength.

Refuge and Strength. Knowing someone so strong, powerful and almighty, someone that created the universe is by your side.

Faithful forever. That God is always there, never to abandon you or backstab you.

Someone about these lyrics, the passion, the melody is sticking to me and its a great reminder that there's nothing to worry about, nothing to be afraid, but just to remember God is good all day. Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow.

We Are Sheep!

Can't See The Future? Rely On God!

Rick Warren

“He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.” (Psalm 25:9 NIV)

The Bible says there are several things we need to do to receive guidance from God, but the very first thing is this: We need to admit we need a guide!

Most of the time we don’t want to follow God or anybody else. We want to go our own way. We don’t want to admit we need direction or that we need a guide.

Sheep, by nature, tend to wander off the path. The Prophet Isaiah says, “All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own” (Isaiah 53:6a NLT).

Another thing about sheep is that they have poor vision. They can’t see very far ahead. That’s why they need a shepherd.

God made you so that you would not be able to see into the future no matter how much you try. Why did God do this? He did it so you would depend on him.

Proverbs 14:12 says, “There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death” (NIV). We’ve all made decisions that at the time seemed right but later on turned out to be wrong. Some paths lead to dead ends and we end up off track. That’s why we need to admit, “God, I need help.”

This topic comes up a LOT. And i will talk about it again. Society today has taught us that we have to be on top, the more money we have, the more control we have, and each and everyone of us have been transformed and brainwashed to have control. We LOVE having things going our way, and we have the mentality to think that we can do everything and anything. But that isnt true. There are SO many things in this world we cannot control, SO many things that we'll come across and not know what to do. The result? we need guidance.

The World has made "guidance" into a sign of weakness. The fact that you cant do it yourself makes you weak, and incompetent. In a world of pride and arrogance, we love praise and glory, ion fact, who doesnt. But we do need guidance. And the first step? Like it says in the devo, to ADMIT that we need a guide.

The Bible often uses the analogy of sheep to describe us. In the devo, they speak upon 2 traits that are similar between us and sheep.

1. We tend to wander off the path - agreed. I personally think we're all very very curious, we want to know what's out there, we want to try new things, take risks, "live life to the fullest", but we never know if those things are dangerous, hurtful, and we dont know what kind of consequences they may cause. But OUR GOD knows whats best for us, thats why he's given us his Word, The Bible (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) on whats right and whats wrong.

2. We have poor vision. - i guess i kinda mentioned this already, but we dont know the future. God has ALREADY built this massive, crazy unique plan for each and everyone of us, and us wanting control and power is only ruining this plan and getting us off track. God knows best and he knows what is ahead, we must learn to rely on Christ and give him our life.

We are the sheep, and God is our Shepard.

SNA, Saturday Night Alive, the annual creative arts night we hold at our church RHCCC was big this year, and being one of the heads, there was definitely the pressure, the stress, and the work. I really learnt to give it to God. I remember breaking down at home because i realized how humanly IMPOSSIBLE this task was. But in the end, on the final day, the stress and the pressure just left me. I dont know what it was, but it did. i was COMPLETELY fine, no nerves, nothing, i felt like.. i "knew" that it was going to be fine. yes of course there were errors, but it was all for God's glory, not for us, and he pulled through like he does every year and helped make SNA 2011 a great and memorable one.

Rely on God. He really knows best. Its hard, but let him take the steering wheel of your life.