mistakes, not failure

Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone isn't perfect. We've all fallen short of God's glory. But although we make these mistakes, and stumble, we cannot admit failure.

Today was another embarrassing worship session for me. I always seem to somehow mess up on stage, and make a fool of myself. Do i save it well? I don't know, but today during a particular song, i was in the moment and thought the song was over, but apparently it was just the interlude, they played longer, and then i realized it was the chorus again. I go to sing again, but then they die down, and i assume its the end of the song, only to realize its not. So I sing the ling really oddly, say "SORRY" and keep going. Mistakes. They're acceptable, but i can't admit failure and just walk off the stage. I just laughed it off. Whats best was that I could look out into the congregation, and see my friends smiling back at me, and i couldn't help but feel reassured, and smile as well.

Many times, we get the vibe that following Christ means perfection, that we have to 100% holy and righteous, can't have any slip ups, but thats a misunderstanding. God knows we can't be perfect, but that doesn't mean we should just give up and stop altogether. Instead, we should strive for it. God knows when you're trying, so persevere!

¹⁶ 

for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again,    but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes.

Proverbs 24:16 

dystopia

Ever since diving into this concept in gr. 12 english, a dystopian society has always been on my mind. As a quick crash course, dystopia is the opposite of utopia. Utopia is the concept of having a completely ideal and perfect society, and therefore dystopia is how we cannot have a perfect society, where things are corrupted and flawed.

Nothing is perfect. Nothing is perfect in this world. You'll never find a person who has the whole package, and be the perfect soulmate. Eventually you'll find something about them you may not be fond of. Society and media today understand this very well. I've seen in several tv series where they talk about dating, but how every single person they may date has a package, whether it be clingy, or messy and unorganized, nobody's perfect.

Although we understand such things, we are still going to that utopian world. We're constantly trying to make electronics, develop technologies that will last forever, and will never fail us. Has it worked? no.

Things fade.

Things fail.

But one thing doesn't. Our God, His Love. His Mercy. and His Promises. We place our hopes on such useless and meaningless things. Materialistic things. We're relying on technology more and more, we rely on friends more and more when we really should be focusing on God, not these flawed things/people.

Put our hope on something that is worth putting our hopes in. Its like betting i guess you could say. Would you rather bet on something you are unsure of, or something you have complete 100% faith in? Obviously the thing that will guarantee a win!

¹Praise the Lord! He is good.
God’s love never fails.
²Praise the God of all gods.
God’s love never fails.
³Praise the Lord of lords.
God’s love never fails.

⁴Only God works great miracles.
God’s love never fails.
⁵With wisdom he made the sky.
God’s love never fails.
⁶The Lord stretched the earth
over the ocean.
God’s love never fails.
⁷He made the bright lights
in the sky.
God’s love never fails.
⁸He lets the sun rule each day.
God’s love never fails.
⁹He lets the moon and the stars
rule each night.
God’s love never fails.

¹⁰God struck down the first-born
in every Egyptian family.
God’s love never fails.
¹¹He rescued Israel from Egypt.
God’s love never fails.
¹²God used his great strength
and his powerful arm.
God’s love never fails.
¹³He split the Red Sea apart.
God’s love never fails.

¹⁴The Lord brought Israel safely
through the sea.
God’s love never fails.
¹⁵He destroyed the Egyptian king
and his army there.
God’s love never fails.
¹⁶The Lord led his people
through the desert.
God’s love never fails.

¹⁷Our God defeated mighty kings.
God’s love never fails.
¹⁸And he killed famous kings.
God’s love never fails.
¹⁹One of them was Sihon,
king of the Amorites.
God’s love never fails.
²⁰Another was King Og of Bashan.
God’s love never fails.
²¹God took away their land.
God’s love never fails.
²²He gave their land to Israel,
the people who serve him.
God’s love never fails.

²³God saw the trouble we were in.
God’s love never fails.
²⁴He rescued us from our enemies.
God’s love never fails.
²⁵He gives food to all who live.
God’s love never fails.

²⁶Praise God in heaven!
God’s love never fails.

Psalm 136

3 Stories. 1 God.

It was one hectic Saturday (yesterday). Why? For Sunday school we had to make a video and my group had nothing planned until yesterday and it was due this morning. The moment I got to church i quickly talked to those who were already at church. We brainstormed then came up with an idea. There were 4 topics that we were to chose off of a list that was given to us by the teacher. I already knew what the other group was doing so we combined the rest of the 3 of 4 topics and made one conclusion.

There were 3 stories and here they are:

A girl isn't doing so well in school because she's spending too much time at church and worshiping God. Her parents aren't Christian so it's hard for them to understand how God has changed her life. She's forced to study, study, and study just to receive that 100% on every course. She struggles with trying to evangelize with her parents and then feels disappointed in herself because she has failed to do it.

The second story is about a girl that struggles with fitting in with her peers. She's constantly striving to be more and more 'pretty' to keep up with the trends. She gives into peer pressure by skipping class with her friends. She feels like she's not good enough for God because she has fallen into temptation so many times.

And lastly, this girl has a boyfriend who is a non-christian. She invites her boyfriend to Bible study and he shows up late and doesn't care about anything. They soon get into a fight and break up. Since she failed at evangelizing to him she soon feels that she's also failed the task of spreading the Gospel.

In the end it's not MARKS, FITTING IN, or EARTHLY RELATIONSHIPS that define you but it's your faith that defines you.

God loves you no matter how many struggles you face. It's okay to fail at spreading the Gospel because there may be other opportunities that are open for you.

Cleansed.

You are cleansed at his expense.

So this year at Teen's Conference the theme was Cleansed. Here's what i learned !

We are all born as sinful people. No one is perfect (except Jesus). We all make mistakes which stain our hearts. The only way we can get that stain away is not by making more but by asking God for forgiveness. There's no such thing as a 'big' sin or a 'small' sin, it's all equal in God's eyes.

I, personally, have fallen into temptation. I didn't know if God will take me back as a child. I know that he was disappointed. That's when i doubted my faith. It took me a while to get back on the right track with God but in the end i was cleansed. You can too be cleansed.

You are clean, forgiven, beautiful. Tomorrow you may fail, you may let Jesus down, you may become stained by sin. But he is always ready to cleanse, forgive, and restore you. Honesty and confession will keep you this clean.

Renewal.

I've been picked up. Yes the past few days have been dark, and I was slipping up in the quicksand of sin, but i was renewed today. It all sparked from a friend who emailed me, with comfort, encouragement and support. She sent me Psalm 42 which i found extremely comforting, and when i read it in her email, i was moved, i felt something inside of me. I know for a fact that God placed her in my life and he was speaking to me through her. I cannot thank her or my God enough for that. After getting her message, i was moved to dive into his Word and i tried something new. I walked out to the park and spent a good hour in his Word, in worship and in prayer. During that time I went through three chapters of Psalms. Psalm 37, Psalm 40 andPsalm 42.

Going through the passages, i found comfort and peace in it. I couldnt exactly pinpoint what it was, but there were a few verses that stood out to me.

Psalm 37:23-24

^{23 23} The LORD directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
²⁴ Though they stumble, they will never fall,
for the LORD holds them by the hand.

We will all stumble, in sin, falling short of God's glory, but with his almighty hand and love, he will make sure we stand back up and continue to walk by him. He's holding onto our hand, making sure we're safe and are not left behind. Its a great feeling knowing that someone is specifically watching out for you,

Psalm 37:39-40

³⁹ The LORD rescues the godly;
he is their fortress in times of trouble.
⁴⁰ The LORD helps them,
rescuing them from the wicked.
He saves them,
and they find shelter in him.

My fortress in times of trouble is my God. He will keep me still, calm my heart and give me peace in times of distress, and mess. He is the rock I hold onto. He rescues me from the wicked and shelters me under his loving and caring arms.

Psalm 40:2-3

² He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
and steadied me as I walked along.
³ He has given me a new song to sing,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
They will put their trust in the LORD.

Psalm 40 came from my devotional, about how God lifts us out of trouble and that's exactly how i felt today. He's given me a new life, he has renewed me and given me a new slate. He's given me a new song, literally! I found this song after we sang it at church the other day, "You Alone Can Rescue" by Matt Redman. What a great reminder to how only God alone will sustain and lift us out of all darkness. The last part of verse 3 i think sums up evangelism. As Christians, we are Christ representatives and through our lives, hopefully many will see what God has done and will place their trust in the Lord as well. I myself know that there are a few people that look up to me, and it only motivates me more to set and be that example to not lead others astray.

Psalm 40:11-12

¹¹ LORD, don’t hold back your tender mercies from me.
Let your unfailing love and faithfulness always protect me.
¹² For troubles surround me—
too many to count!
My sins pile up so high
I can’t see my way out.
They outnumber the hairs on my head.
I have lost all courage.

"I have lost all courage." This is on the NLT version, it didnt show up on my bible during my reading today. Thats exactly how i felt this week. Like all was lost, nothing could fix this, that "my sins were piled up so high", having "troubles surround me", but God is good and will always protect me.

Psalm 42:1-3

¹ As the deer longs for streams of water,
so I long for you, O God.
² I thirst for God, the living God.
When can I go and stand before him?
³ Day and night I have only tears for food,
while my enemies continually taunt me, saying,
“Where is this God of yours?”

This was the passage my friend sent me. Throughout the entire passage, one line was repeated many many times, "Where is your God?". In times of trouble, we may ask that, others may ask us that. Where is your God? If you're Christian and you believe in this great God, where is he when you're struggling and are trudging through? The answer? Right next to me. There are times where he feels distant, and im sure thats exactly what i felt this week, but I think that its during these times where the true test of faith comes into play. When he feels distant (but really isnt), will you fall away from him? Its through these times you learn and you are strengthened. It is truly when we go to seek Christ is when we find true joy and peace in the love of our Father.

Ezekiel 37:23

²³ They will never again pollute themselves with their idols and vile images and rebellion, for I will save them from their sinful backsliding. I will cleanse them. Then they will truly be my people, and I will be their God.

This was the theme verse for TC (Teens Conference) this year. I find it really powerful. We will NEVER pollute ourselves of sin, of doubt, of guilt, of temptation, of pain, of struggle, of trouble, with our own thoughts, of sin, of pride, of idols, of sexual immorality, because God WILL save us. We are CLEANSED. This is who we have to be as a follower of God.

I feel renewed.

I feel risen.

What else can I say but PTL.

verse of the day: Psalm 42:8

⁸ But each day the LORD pours his unfailing love upon me,
and through each night I sing his songs,
praying to God who gives me life.

Failure.

There has got to be one point in your life where you felt you just failed someone or something. That happen to me today. I didn't know what was wrong. I did everything perfectly and it just hit me. Failure.

What was God trying to tell me? I have no clue. It always happens to me. Maybe it's just a sign? I was talking to my friend and he told me that it's something i can learn from and not keep myself down on the ground. It's just another obstacle that God placed in front of me and i have to tackle it. Who knows when i'll succeed but if i try my best then i'm sure it'll be fine.

It was just a slap in the face. Basically felt like someone ripped my heart out and stomped on it then attempting to put it back as if nothing happen. Yeah, failure hurts but we need to know that it's another thing that God puts in our path. In Him, anything is possible.

Tears might be shed. Hearts may be broken but it's just a challenge for a mighty warrior.

Conquer

³¹ What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³² He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? ³³ Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. ³⁴ Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised— who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. ³⁵ Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? ³⁶ As it is written,

“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”

³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, ³⁹ nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:31-38

We can conquer all that life brings. With God, we can overcome everything and anything. I think today's sermon at church was an extraordinary reminder to Christians. Life seems like a long time, averaging at about 80 years, 80 years of constant failure, trails, struggles, deaths, celebrations, obstacles, and pains, it seems like a long time. And I know for myself personally, its frustrating when you're struggling with pain and sin for so long, and you cannot win. Its difficult, and like they said in the sermon, giving up, and giving in are so extremely easy. To give in, do what you want, when you want, and how you want. Falling into the world's standards are simple and quick, but thats what Christianity is about, fighting the good fight. Can you fight against giving in, taking the hard but better road? Thats the real test.

In the passage, it says that IF GOD IS FOR US, WHO CAN BE AGAINST US. God has conquered over all already, and like in v 38-39, he's conquered Satan, death, everything in heaven, on earth and under the earth (Phil 2:9-11). Its always something that goes un-noticed is that in that passage, it says "under the earth". That just goes to show that God is powerful and victorious over everything in Hell, including the devil himself.

As human beings, it is very common and natural to have pride, to feel and want to be the best, and i know i myself has thought so many times "im better than him", "i dont do this, so she's clearly worse than me", but no, who am i to judge? IT IS GOD WHO JUSTIFIES. We are all equal in God's eyes, we have all fallen short of God's glory, no one has fallen MORE or LESS short His glory. We are all sinners equally and equally need God's saving.

NOR THINGS PRESENT, NOR THINGS TO COME. God has already taken care of our future as well. Nothing that is happening to us NOW or LATER will separate us. As people, we love having control, of our lives, of our future. There are many things we want our way, it can be simple things like having the title of each note we take underlined, to bigger things like who we want to marry, what our family is to look like, but there are things that are out of our control. From the people you meet, to what university you get into. But trust in God. Do you have confidence in God that he will bring great things for you?

Verses 38-39, also talks about our identity. That at the bottom, within us, what truly defines us, is the love of God. As Christ followers we often "label" ourselves incorrectly. Yes, we are students, employees, husbands, wives, teachers, doctors, fathers, mothers, but before all of that, we are Christians, we are children of God. "I am a Child of God that is a brother, and student", not "im a brother, student, and also a Child of God." It is God's love that defines us.

We are continuously frustrated with the struggles we face daily, great or small, but God loves usand he has conquered way more than we have experienced. There are times that we want to give up, and just say game over, but remind yourself that nothing will separate you from God, no matter the challenges, and the difficulties, you can overcome it, and that God has greater things planned for you.

God of Comfort

³ Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. ⁵ For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. ⁶ If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. ⁷ Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort.

⁸ For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. ⁹ Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselvesbut on God who raises the dead. ¹⁰ He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again.¹¹ You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many.

2 corinthians 1:3-11

Do you ever get that feeling when you feel disgusting, like a monster? When you've indulged in sin, you turned away from God and you've been engulfed by guilt? That feeling, that you're retched, scarred, and just unworthy? That feeling comes up a lot. When we sin, we've failed against God, and like Adam and Eve, we tend to run away after realizing how filthy we are, we try to hide from God.

I felt like that today.

But then when i started to read the devo, this was the scripture reading for the day, and it calmed my heart. God will comfort us in everything, in times of trial, suffering, and pain. And it is for us to be able to spread and spill that comfort into others. I've felt that this week. I've recently made a new friend, or i guess you could say gotten closer to a friend, and i've also felt that i could be more transparent and vulnerable with others lately. Of course i have deeper struggles with whom i share with others, but i've been able to just talk to people about my struggles more. It feels good sometimes, because we're able to help each other out. Sometimes if you take the risk (if you're comfortable) and share with others, you'll never know the response you'll get. For instance, i shared with this friend about university, about a friend who's possibly wasted 7 years of my life (as bad as that sounds), and i was surprised to hear what he had to say, but it was most definitely comforting.

But also reading all this, and reflecting on all this, i was constantly reminded of God's love. Its deeper than the sea, wider than the universe, and its never failing, and everlasting. No matter what you've done to him, run away, stabbed him in the back, fall short of his glory, he still loves you unconditionally. Its amazing to really take that in, and you really will not find anyone else on this earth that can satisfy that, and be that person for you, because its humanly impossible.

God comforts you, share that comfort with others.

7 The Lord is good,
a stronghold in the day of trouble;

nahum 1:7

nothing will...

³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

romans 8:38-39

Kelly presented us with this verse at retreat. Its amazingly powerful, looking back on it. That NOTHING on this earth, no power, no person. No creature, no creation, no angel or demon can take away God's love for us. He will forever love us, forever provide for us, and forever be our best friend. Its up to you whether to accept this love or not.

Talking to my friend just now, we talked about acceptance and the love from people. At fellowship, at church, at school, anywhere. The truth is, everyone may say "im here for you", or "im your best friend", but the truth is, we're all going to fail. we cannot satisfy. ONLY God's love will. Thats the greatest news. Dont rely so heavily on people. Unfortunately, they will eventually fail you.

Dust Bunnies.

Today as I sat down to start my studies, i was all prepared, organized, and set up, until i swept my finger across my desk where i dont often use. And...

dust.

i hate dust. It actually bothers me so much that it can get anywhere, and just lingers, and they're all little particles. And this some swipe spiralled into a massive clean up. I wiped down my ENTIRE desk, including all the different levels, and just EVERYTHING. This then moved onto cleaning my drawer top and then that lead to moving my books....

and in the midst of all that, i came to realize. This is what we were made from. God made Adam out of dust. And like Ecclesiastes 3 says,

¹⁹ Surely the fate of human beings is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath; humans have no advantage over animals. Everything is meaningless. ²⁰ All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return.

This kinda goes back to the SNA message this year. Nothing. Nothing on this earth will last. Relationships, materialistic things, pride, nothing on this earth will full satisfy except for God. All things will corrode, will fail, and will break. That is why we must learn to set our eyes on things that are greater, things that will last, and things that are eternal. Not earthly things.

On the lines of dust, i kept thinking, its so hard to clean up, its such a hassle, its.. literally nothing. Like what is it exactly... bits and pieces of what? And it kinda comes out of no where too...

i dont know, this post isnt the most organized and structured, but it was just a revelation i had today.

backing in.

Here's a quick story for y'all. So today i drove to go pick up my mom from church before we went off for afternoon tea, and in the church parking lot, my dad prompted me to back into a parking space. He taught me a LONG time ago, with the 2.5 parking space rule and all. But today, i absolutely had no idea what was going on and what to do, but i didnt really wanted to seem ... dumb or blanked out, so i just guessed and tried it.

I failed, and parked with the parking line directly under me.

I remember when i was learning it, that my dad said that we just have to follow the 2.5 rule. It works if you follow it and although you may not see it, it works.

And i guess thats kinda how it works with God too. There are so many "rules" and commands he gives us, and sometimes, we dont think it'll work and we try to rely on ourselves, or we dont believe him and try something else, but we fail. We need to learn just trust Him and know that it'll work and you'll succeed. Its hard to do that, but thats faith. Thats TRUE faith.

So, when you're "backing in" with your life, are you going to trust your instructor, the Creator of the Universe? Will you pass the test, or will you crash?