The Unknown.

It was foggy today, and it just got worse and worse throughout the day. On the way back from dinner, we could barely see what was ahead of us. I remember on the way back, I thought that we passed our street, but I was mistaken. Thinking about what to talk about today, i realized that this is exactly what life is like. Its blurry, and our future is unpredictable. You dont know if you a deer will come out from the side, if you're on the oncoming lane, or if you're reaching a dead end. We can only follow the 5m road ahead of us that we can actually see. Many times, we want to have complete control of our lives, where we want to live, the ideal family, the perfect career, but truthfully, there are things that are just out of our control. For instance, university, you dont know where you are going to go, all you can do is do the best you can in school and hope you get into the program you want. Marriage, how do you control meeting the perfect spouse?

Its all in God's time. Life with or without God is a blurry road. Life without is complete fog and you're just entrusting yourself, as well as the road on what is right. The road can represent the world and its standards, driving you towards a different destination. Where as with God, we have someone greater looking out for us. God will be that extra GPS you have in the car, which directs the route from satellite, much higher above us that can see all the routes, all the dead ends, and now, even which roads are more congested with traffic! If you were the driver, would you trust yourself based on what you know? or will trust the GPS?

The unknown is often a fear for many people. We all hate not knowing what is coming up and what's next. I know that I myself get paranoid when im not prepared or ready for a presentation or anything. Will you learn to trust our greater God?

personal blended juice.

Regrets are a part of life, yes? If i could go back in time, these would be the regrets i’d like to change.

Dating Someone at the age of 12. What the heck was I thinking? It was a horrible decision, not only was it a failure, ha, i dont even know if you can even call it a relationship, there was nothing. Just shy kids trying something out that had a 100% fail rate. Thinking through it, it was such a stupid move. Reflecting on it, ive come to realize, why would you date so young? even in high school, what are you reasons? Dating has two results, marriage or break up. So dating at an age like that… are you planning on getting married? if not, then you’re just setting up a time bomb that’ll break two hearts at once. And after going through it, there were more regrets that came like a chain reaction. I personally just dont see the point if you dont think/plan on making it last. But it doesnt really matter now cause my love life is currently on hold.

As Christians, i think we can just put our trust and faith in Him to know that he'll provide the perfect spouse in our life, or to not provide one. Maybe we're meant to be single for our life, whats important is that we are adoring and glorifying God in our actions, words, AND our relationships. I think its also important to think about what you're looking for in your partner. I think that the love for Christ is extremely important. I heard from a marriage thing once, if you draw a triangle, God is at the top, and Husband and Wife are on the bottom. If you are both working towards God individually and or together, you two will also get closer to each other.

Family. I’ve been thinking about this a LOT lately, especially since i feel like God is calling me towards family this year. Im kinda ashamed about this. Im sure you’ve read before that my relationship with them arent the best. I see EVERYONE and they have the greatest families, oh so knit and tight, and im thinking my own, about everything, from how we communicate to how we interact, i regret not spending and investing time in them. I wasted 17 years not building up my relationship with them. And sometimes i think to myself, its a lost cause. I cant get it back, its done, next year im leaving for university, and then for 4 years i’ll be gone, and then wow, i’ll be 21 and who knows what’ll happen then. I look at myself and my family, and im in shock, what have i done, i cant believe i failed myself and my family. Its probably one of my bigger struggles right now, and i just dont know what to do about it. Like the other night, we were “discussing” for an hour or so because we were trying to resolve a conflict, and by the end of it all, i think to myself, we still dont fully understand each, it seems like it, but we’re totally on different channels. It may be the culture/generation difference, but i dont know. i just dont know what to do next. It just seems impossible to revive.

This is hard to work with everyday. Family is extremely important. Like it says in the bible, obey your parents, for this pleases the Lord. Sometimes i question God why i was placed in this family, why do i have this mom, this dad, and this brother? What are you trying to tell me? I personally dont think we really mesh at all... but thats how it is and that was apart of God's plan. Can i ask that you pray for me about this, i really dont know what to do, i have 9 more months with them before i leave, and then who knows what'll happen after that.

Letting Go. If you read the last post on the blobfish site, you wouldve read about this one friend i have. I’ve been trying to build a strong friendship with them for the past 6-7 years. Its been a long time, and i wouldnt give up. I’d be constantly praying for it to work out, but i’ve always felt like it was a one way thing. I feel like im working so hard at it, and they just decide to be inactive and just non-responsive. Its frustrating but i just kept hacking away at it. This friend is also so unpredictable, sometimes they’re a happy as a bird and just yay-oh-the-world-is-great with you and the next thing you know it, they’re just out of it, and just.. like a rock sitting at the bottom of the ocean. But finally, after 7 years (i know right!) i’ve finally learnt to let go and move on. I told myself that ive done my part, and its just their turn, im waiting for them to take the initiative. I dont know if they’ve realized what i’ve done, but even though im letting go, i just want them to know one thing. The past few years was “lets be best friends and get through everything together! yay!” but now its “yah know what, do what you like, but even though im giving up, doesnt mean i wont be there for you.”

Trusting in God. im learning to do this everyday. I remember during those 7 years, i would trust and constantly be praying for opportunities for the friendship to grow stronger, i was literally praying everyday for years. Wild eh. Even now, that i've moved on, im still praying that they'll remember that im here, and that even though we'll go our separate paths, that it wont affect our friendship or either of our walks with God. Im praying for my friend constantly, and i wish the best for them.

Going through the post again, i wonder why God gave these to me, am i to learn something from this? And what would it be? What is he trying to tell me? Whats the bigger picture? Trusting in God, Let Go[d].

Clearing The Air: Baptism

Baptism. I feel like many people dont fully understand the meaning behind it and its purpose. I think many people think its something only the "super spiritual" can do. And to be honest, i thought it was like that too. I felt that i had to be completely sinless, or at least "above a certain level of holy" to be able to get into it. I remember during that time, when i was making my decision, i was struggling, and i felt that i had to overcome the struggle before i would step into the water.

But i've come to learn that Baptism is nothing like that. In a nutshell, baptism is your public declaration of your commitment to Christ. I guess you can say its like a marriage. Its that kind of public declaration. You are telling the world, without shame and with confidence that you are a follower of Christ.

But we must also understand that a commitment to Christ is a BIG DEAL. You can just choose to give up or walk away. God does give us free will and will let us go if we do choose so, but when we dedicate ourselves to someone, we shouldnt be doing that. Following Christ is big. Like it says in Luke 9:23,

²³ Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.

This is a commitment that will last a life time, and in previous posts, we've discussed that its not easy, at all. God will throw at you trials and obstacles that are meant to build your faith. Its these times you may feel that God has abandoned you, but he's there if you call on Him.

Back to baptism. If you're a Christian and you havent been baptized, think about it, reflect on your journey and your walk with Christ and think about if you're ready to tell the world that you love our Saviour and God and that you're ready to tell the world that you're His.