zero gravity.

That feeling, when you're in outer space, where they're no gravity, nothing, you're just floating in space, and there's nothing. nothing to grab onto, nothing to ground you, keep you in place. You're just floating there, helpless. thats how i feel today. As if time has froze, and I'm stuck in my body, unable to escape, stuck, and there's absolutely nothing i can do.

Things have been rather rough, but today, it just all piled up. I woke up today knowing and having a gut feeling that the day wasn't going to go well. And it didn't. From not feeling well physically in the morning, to being plain out tired, having constant thoughts running through my mind that put myself down, Satan taunting at me, doubts, guilt, regrets, all piled up. It got to the point where instead of pushing myself to get through life day by day, today it was pushing myself to get through the next minute. And finally after my day was over, i couldn't take it. And i let it out. I broke down.

¹³ No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

1 Corinthians 10:13

I always think of this verse. With everything going on in my mind, I kept thinking to myself. Why. God promised me that he would not give me more than i can bear, and i feel like this is just way too much. I can't handle it. Is he just trying to push me off the edge? I really can't go through this anymore, i want to give up. I want to escape, but I'm stuck with this life and this reality. I want to leave but i can't.

My good friend was checking up on me and gave me this verse. It was the perfect verse at that time.

⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Im feeling much better now. We sang You Hold Me Now at SPLOXA today, and it really spoke to me. The lyrics, i could truly relate, and listening to it again after all the craze, it was comforting, it was reassuring and it gave me all i wanted, to be held tight, to be loved. It opened the window of hope we should set out eyes on. Heaven.

No weeping.

No hurt or pain.

No suffering.

You hold me now.

No darkness.

No sick or lame.

No hiding.

You hold me now.

Im so ready to get that. To get to heaven, into that place with no pain, no tears and no suffering. But for now on earth, i will delight in my sufferings and my hardships because God is good and its with these pains i will grow stronger. For when i am weak, i am strong.

⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Its Valentine's Day!

¹³ Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

john 15:13

Im not a big valentine's day guy, the whole lovey dovey thing, there were so many things going on at school today, maybe it be the candy grams, the roses, or the sing o grams, love was in the air. Seeing couples everywhere, just enjoying each other's company and presence. But things popped into my head today.

Valentine's day is clearly known as a day of love, and i feel like its a day where EXTRA love is shown. We should be showing as much love as we can, on every single day! Not just on the 14th of the second month. I challenge you to continue to love others, those you know, those you dont know, those you love, and those you hate. Love them. Give them a hug, give them a high five, you dont need to buy them a rose and have a candle light dinner, but just show love by simply helping them, caring for them, and being a friend.

Being single on valentine's day. People are all saying HAPPY SINGLE AWARENESS DAY, blah blah. I guess today i guess since its "the day of love", use the day to reflect on GOD's love for you. His never ending, never failing, everlasting love for you. Its deeper than the sea, and he sent his one and only son to die for you.

I think i've realized that love is truly shown through sacrifice. If you're willing to sacrifice something thats yours for someone else, thats love. It doesnt have to be something huge like a laptop or something, but something small. Time. Thought. Effort. These little things seem like they have no impact, but together can easily show your love for someone.

Happy Valentine's Day!

The Coming of The Kingdom

The Coming of The Kingdom of God

²⁰ Once, on being asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, Jesus replied, “The coming of the kingdom of God is not something that can be observed, ²¹ nor will people say, ‘Here it is,’ or ‘There it is,’ because the kingdom of God is in your midst.”

²² Then he said to his disciples, “The time is coming when you will long to see one of the days of the Son of Man, but you will not see it. ²³ People will tell you, ‘There he is!’ or ‘Here he is!’ Do not go running off after them. ²⁴ For the Son of Man in his day will be like the lightning, which flashes and lights up the sky from one end to the other.²⁵ But first he must suffer many things and be rejected by this generation.

luke 17:20-24

God works in mysterious ways. I think thats what this passage is going to say. It explicitly says in verses 20 and 21, that people wont be able to observe it, pick it out and determine when it comes, it can come within the next hour, or within the next century. No one will ever know when Christ decides to return again.

Something that caught my eye was the end of verse 21 "because the Kingdom of God is in your midst". That means that its right here with us. Im not fully sure what its talking about, does it mean the church, the fellowship, the Christian environment around us?

The scripture goes on in verse 23 to talk about those who deceive i believe. He says not to follow those who bluntly say "there is it". I guess this goes towards those saying that 2012 is the end of the world. There is no one that knows when the second coming is.

Verse 24 gives a bit of a hint i guess you can say. Flashes of lightning. Lightning is always unexpected, unpredictable, like our Father. "But first he must suffer and be rejected by this generation." Interesting eh? He MUST suffer and he MUST be rejected. I guess from this you can predict the times to come. Like it says in Matthew 10:22,

²² You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.

It'll also work the other way. People will reject Christ, and they will reject you also. The fact that the Christian walk is not easy is always coming up. Be ready for a time of turmoil, or pain, or rejection, loneliness. But again it says in the verse, "the one who stands firm to the end will be saved". Dont give up, dont give in, stand strong and fight against the world and the devil.

Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, POOF!

Its almost everyday, im upstairs and i hear my parents call "sik fann!" (let's eat!) and i think i've always been taking it for granted. That the food just magically appears on the table each time. Until today. They called it and i was thinking, about all the hard work and effort to get the food onto the plate and in my mouth. From bringing in the money to buy the food, driving to get it, picking it out, paying for it, storing it, seasoning it, washing it, cooking it, plating it and then finally eating it.

And this isnt a once in a month thing. Its not a once a week thing either. Its a 3 times a day thing. And i think its always been in the back of my mind, but i dont think i've fully realized how blessed we are. That we have family and parents that are willing to put their time, money and effort into getting the food on the table.

We have to continuously learn to be thankful. Of our family, or friends, but most important, of our Saviour. We definitely take things on this world for granted way too much. I also think being thankful keeps us grounded. It reminds us that someone greater has provided for us, and has loved us. That we, i guess you can say, are incapable, and that we're thankful to have someone be there for us. It reminds us that we cant do it alone.

Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner dont just magically appear on the table.

Be Thankful.

Lamentations 3:22-23

²² Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

²³ They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

Kelly shared this verse on Sunday and its been my iphone wallpaper since. I never knew it said that in the Bible and i love how great of a reminder it is. Each new day, God has given us new mercy, and a new chance. This doesn't mean you can just mess up your day and sin because the next day is new, but it means that our God is a gracious, loving and forgiving God. If you realize and confess your sins, he will forgive. The past is the past, what matters is that you change in the present and you keep the momentum going for the future.

I think we ought to remind ourselves daily of this, that God is good and that his love for us is eternal and overflowing. Praise God!

Procrastinating.

We all procrastinate. From school work to doing chores.
But with God... Does he really want us to procrastinate on HIS works? NO! He gives us time to think about certain things but if we don't act upon them then, we won't be able to accept the challenges that He has given to us.

It may take a while to get things done but, in the end, it will be done. It takes time. We have to know our limitations and work with them. If we just sit back and relax things won't get done. For example, if your parents tell you to wash the dishes or clean your room and you sit sleep or watch TV. Will anything be get done? NOPE! NOT AT ALL.

We need to work to achieve the goals that we have received. We CAN'T procrastinate on the tasks that God has given us. Being a servant of God we need to be sacrificial, obedient, patient, and everything in the Fruit of the Spirit (and many more characteristics).

God wants us to do that, too. He gave us what we have for a reason: to make a difference for him in the world. To do that most effectively, we have to be wise.

-Rick Warren.

Why?

We always wonder why God picks US to do certain challenges.
Rick Warren says, "With God’s Spirit working in us and through us, we can get through what we’re going through."

I think this is something that stood out to me the most. Going through all these challenges in 2011 till now. math. Who knows what I'm going to end up with but through God, anything is possible.
He puts us through these challenges for us to rejoice and learn from the experiences. He'll NEVER give us a challenge that we can't conquer. It may take minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, maybe even years.

I have a friend that I've knows since JK. We even played soccer together every single recess in grade 1-2. He was like my brother. I waited for 11 years for him to open up to me. It took a while but it happen. I wanted to just give up during the process but there was something blocking me. Something that pushed me further to make him open up. It was God. He gave me the wisdom and strength to pull through. To keep him accountable, check up on him every now and then.

And now, we talk almost everyday he shares his most deepest and darkest secrets. I'm truly thankful for God. Although i really wanted to give up, He's the one that kept me going.

Getting through what you’re going through requires a shift. Instead of asking, “Why me?” ask, “What do I do with this, God?”

-Rick Warren.

Fears.

You got your fears I got mine. It may be from spiders to failing out of school.

For me, it’s not getting into university. I know why am I thinking about this already? I’m only in grade 11. Yeah yeah I’ve heard all that. But honestly, I don’t know what courses that I’m going to take next year. I don’t have many pre-reqs and it’s just a constant struggle that I’ve been facing. Semester 1 almost at an end. It’s the final push to get all our marks up before exams come.

Math. Who knows what I’m getting now but I know it’s not something that I want. I’ve been trying so hard and every test. Fail. Fail. Fail. Who knows what I’ll get. Possibly a passing grade. Well that’s what I’m hoping for. I don’t know what to say to God except why. WHY ME? My siblings all got 90s in math and then there’s me.

In today’s devos, Rick Warren says: “Your fears reveal where you do not trust God. Today, make a list of your fears, and ask God to help you identify why you have fear in those areas. Then, ask him to help you replace your fears with trust.”

This line hit me hard. I realized that I put my fears in front of God. I didn’t think about how this challenge will benefit me in the future. Trust is a big word. It takes time and accountability to achieve it.

So complex.

Last night as i studied for a bio quest i realized how complex we are.

The test was on the digestive system and respiratory system.
This made me realize how much God loves us. He spent HIS time to create each and every one of us. He made our insides and out. From taking a simple breath to swallowing food. He created a system for our body to follow. He focused on each and every one of us. He made us all special. We are all unique and there is only ONE of YOU in this UNIVERSE!

He created us with many different systems. We may feel like everyone is the same but in God's eyes, we are all different. We are made in a complex way. He keeps us all on track physically and spiritually. We all have our different ways in taking on a challenge but without God nothing can be done. We have to set aside time to thank Him for everything that He has done for us. From sacrificing HIS one and only son, Jesus Christ, to creating you!

We have our own complex brains and systems but without God, we wouldn't be here.

I Got This. Trust.

Don’t See How? God Will Make a Way.

Rick Warren

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

(Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV)

You may be facing a dead end right now — financial, emotional, or relational — but if you will trust God and keep on moving in faith, even when you don’t see a way, he will make a way.

It will become more understandable as you head down the path he sets before you, but understanding is not a requirement for you to start down the path. Proverbs 4:18 says, “The path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter till the full light of day” (NIV). One day you will stand in the full light of eternity and view the big picture. You’ll see God’s purpose behind the path he specifically chose for you.

In the meantime, do what Proverbs 3 says: “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Be patient. God knows what he’s doing. God knows what is best for you. He can see the end result. You can’t. All those problems, heartaches, difficulties and delays — all the things that make you ask “why” — will one day be clear in the light of God’s love.

But for now, we’re learning to trust God.

TRUST. It’s something that we all have. May be big or small but we call have it. There may be times where we don’t trust anyone or the opposite of that, we trust someone a lot.

It’s something that we all have to work upon and can’t just leave it as that. When we say trust in the LORD with all our heart do we really do that or just say it. I know for me, it’s a struggle. I’ve faced many challenges and it seems that sometimes I ask God “Why Me?” then it all goes downhill.

He purposely chose these struggles for each and every one of us because he knows that there’s a way to get you out of it. It takes time and patience to work with God. Obedience is key in this relationship. If He tells us to go somewhere (for example a mission field) and we don’t want to we have to make a big decision.

We may not see the path that he has made for us right away but we need to stay focused and be mature about what he has set for us.

Where to God?

Day 2. First day of 2012 is over. Now what? What does God have in store for me this year?

Last year was one hectic year. Let’s start from the beginning. Dislocating my knee. How else can I describe it? While competing at a track and field meet I was in mid air and SNAP my knee dislocates and I land on the same leg. I didn’t know what to think about. Did I win? Obviously not. Can I walk? Who knows I was still on the floor. All of a sudden I bursted out in tears. Why? I was thinking to God why would you do this to me? What have I done to deserve this? There was no way I could compete for the rest of the year. This was my only way to take out my stress. Through sports and all of a sudden in one jump it’s all gone. As I was going back home I was thinking about what my restrictions were, now that I wasn’t able to walk. I was thinking about Church. We had an event called Acupe coming up and I was one of the main characters in a skit. How was I able to act without walking. It’s just not possible. As the day came closer and closer I prayed harder and harder asking God to just heal my leg. A week before the night I tried walking without my crutches and guess what? He DID answer my prayer! It was such a miracle and I didn’t know what to say.

I thought that this would be the first and last obstacle that I’d face in 2011 but I was wrong. Going to Kenya for a mission’s trip I didn’t expect any big challenges that I’d face (since I went the year before). 5 days into the camp I realized that my breathing pattern wasn’t very stable. I asked the doctor what could it be? He asked if I’m asthmatic and I said that I got it in grade 3 but grew out of it. he quickly got his stethoscope and examined my breathing. In my head I was asking God why me? (again) after dislocating my knee and now this. What is he trying to tell me? I was quickly diagnosed with asthma once again and I had to take my puffer once every 2 hours. It wasn’t easy living a life like this back in grade 3 and nothing would make it better now. There’s no cure for asthma so I knew that I’d have to deal with this my whole life.

After 2 big challenges that I faced I quickly got back up and continued my race. October 30 came along and this meant our annual fall retreat. Retreat is when our fellowship at RHCCC goes to a campsite for the weekend to spend time with God and each other. We were playing games and once was called Spokes. The objective of the game is to pop a balloon that is set in the center of a circle with whatever body part that is called out. So the last round came and I was called. i was about to pop the balloon and before I knew it I got tackled by a counsellor. He’s in his mid 20s and pretty big of a guy. It wasn’t easy to get up. He hit the knee that got dislocated a few months before and I realized that he had dislocated it. my mind went blank. I hit the floor with my head and it all went black. I didn’t know what to say or do. After 15 seconds of being on the floor I realized that my knee wasn’t in place. I quickly popped it back in (I know that sounds gross but its true :s ) and asked for help to get up.

Those were the most intense and scariest moments of 2011 for me. Going into 2012 I honestly don’t know what God will do to me. Getting my knee dislocated twice and being diagnosed with asthma is something that isn’t fun to deal with.

Today’s devos is about missions. (Jason posted it so ya’ll can read it off his so it won’t take up that much space) I wanted to go to Belize and thinking bout the past year I’m a little bit iffy bout it. Getting asthma in Kenya and having a not very stable knee. Where would God send me? What would he do next? Being away from my family may not be the best since I do get hurt a lot :$

I honestly don’t know where my next field will be. Somewhere across the world or back here in my own community. Knowing that God will guide and provide it’s all up to him to decide.

After praying for healing I now know that he answers prayers. I’ve seen it for myself. But the worst part is that it takes time. Patience is key in a relationship. It may be hard to wait but God has a purpose for his every move.

In Isaiah 6:8 it says: “Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here am I. Send me!’”

We should always be ready for what God has in store for us. No matter how many obstacles he’s given us. He gives us these obstacles and challenges because he knows that we can conquer them one at a time.

I’ve learned to keep an open mind no matter how much I’ve been through. Holding a grudge on God is just a waste of time. He’s provided us with everything and he wants to see us happy.

Be happy with where you get sent because there’s a reason for everything.