specify in prayer.

Sometimes i feel like prayer life can feel like such a routine. Sometimes i pray, and i confess that sometimes its just nonsense coming out of my mouth. And i know that its so wrong, that i shouldn't be praying like that, but it just happens sometimes. I feel like its very dull.

I was reading my devotions before heading into first period today, and it was about pray specifically. Instead of saying things like "Lord, bless and heal the sick ones", you can pray for those who are sick that you know. I personally do do that often in my prayers, i have specific requests, and certain people i pray for. Just something about it seems dull. I feel like that spark is kinda of lost, and I'm unsure of how to get it back.

I think what i can do right now is just to try my best to be fully honest in prayer, and be wholehearted. Not to rush it, and to treasure it because I'm spending time with the God of the universe. It can easily be just brushed off because its hard to realize how BIG this is.

 ³ When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

James 4:3 

hidden away

God sees all. And although he has the power to see all, there are many things we still try to hide from him. Sins especially.

Like when Adam and Eve, after they ate the apple from the forbidden tree in the garden of Eden, they immediately tried to hide, cover themselves up for the sin they committed. I think i've realized this a lot too. Before sin, temptation looks so enticing and delicious, and you get closer and closer, and inch by inch it teases you to fall in, and after you taste it, a lick, a drop, or a bite, you immediately see. Like Adam and Eve, their eyes TRULY opened, and i feel like the same happens. Your eyes open and you truly see how disgusting and filthy you are from stepping into the sin. Immediately you want to hide it, pretend like it never happened. But the truth is, God knows, and he sees it.

The thing we need to do is admit, confess, and repent. Ecclesiastes 12:14 says,

¹⁴ For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.

God will bring everything you do into the light. And you will be judged for it. BUT if you do confess and be honest to God about it, he will be forgiving and will give you another chance.

Are you still hiding your sins? Whats stopping you from bringing it into the light?

Why Not With God?

This thought just popped into my mind.

Today i found was one of the most productive days i've EVER had academically, how much was good and will stay in my mind? i have no clue, but i was able to study 3/4 of my math course, and i completely my first round of studies. I couldnt believe it. I was blasting music, singing along, but i was surprised i wasnt tempted to check twitter, facebook, i wasnt even tempted to have breaks. Even times when i said "you deserve a break", i wouldnt, i was totally in the zone and the momentum contuinued to carry. Working from 11am - 8pm (with breaks of course, lunch and dinner, and my... occasional get up, dance and sing moments), it was extremely efficient and im so proud of myself.

But now sitting down, thinking about what to post, a question popped into my mind, why dont we spend this much time and put this much effort into our relationship with God? Why cant we do this with God? Is it cause we're not being marked? Because it doesnt impact our near-future? Because it's "old" and "boring"? Because we cant see Him? What's stopping us from spending a day with God, whether it be studying his word, or communicating through prayer? What is this barrier that is hindering us from doing this?

Quickly reflecting upon it right now, i actually dont know. I cant figure out why i am not able to do this with Christ? Im thinking maybe because its boring? The bible isnt fully placed in today's context, but there are so many things in there that we can learn from and need to understand. Maybe its because it happened so long ago? I know i struggle with this. Yes i know God died for me, but that +2000 years ago. It just doesnt fully feel relevant to me, like i dont feel the connection because it was just so long ago. I dont feel like i dont fully know God like how i know a friend, but that's partially my fault for not taking the time to know Him.

Think about it, what's really stopping you from doing that? Its kind of mind boggling, that we're able and willing and will even force ourselves to sit down and practice graphing squiggles on paper, and learn about how enzymes in our body's work, but not sit down and communicate with the Father, the Creator, the One that sent His Son down to earth to die for us?

just a thought.

Lamentations 3:22-23

²² Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

²³ They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

Kelly shared this verse on Sunday and its been my iphone wallpaper since. I never knew it said that in the Bible and i love how great of a reminder it is. Each new day, God has given us new mercy, and a new chance. This doesn't mean you can just mess up your day and sin because the next day is new, but it means that our God is a gracious, loving and forgiving God. If you realize and confess your sins, he will forgive. The past is the past, what matters is that you change in the present and you keep the momentum going for the future.

I think we ought to remind ourselves daily of this, that God is good and that his love for us is eternal and overflowing. Praise God!

His Creation.

i havent read Witty's post yet, but our titles... i dont know if its the same. Anyways. Creation.

This was a realization from before, but i come to realize something different. Before, whether at camp, or with other family, i've always seen children as these cute little things, that run around, and just be cute.

But... lately, its changed completely. Whenever i see a child, 360 change. I've realized God's almighty power, love, and blessing. That this child, is his creation, that he knit, a day at a time, to create, his/her ears, eyes, eyelashes, DNA, and like Beth said earlier, learning biology is so complex and it just shows how much thought and effort he put into us.

Its kinda cool learning about bio, its like knowing what God was thinking.

Going back to children, yes, his creation, i see it and its beautiful, its amazing, and indescribable on how he put us together like that. Seeing Bradley, Ethan, Alex in service, it just strikes me everytime single time.

isnt our God amazing.

Someone Bigger, Someone Better.

Walking to school today, i realized something really important. God is on our side. Being the person i am, im never really confident about myself, and i need MUCH reassurance to feel like something's good to go.

God is on our side. And this isnt just an ordinary person. He's the CREATOR of the UNIVERSE, he's the KING of KINGS, he conquered death and defeated the devil. The list goes on and on and on. HE is the one standing with me? Thats... quite the honour. HE's got my back? HE's on MY side? What can stop me? There's nothing to be scared about, and nothing to worry about if you got the BIG GUY on your side.

Now the only concern is YOU. Are you going to put your trust in this King, this God? Or are you going to try to make it all your way and not give up?

My own personal struggle is that i dont have this full trust in God and sometimes, i feel like i dont fully understand exactly how powerful and how amazing this person i believe in is. I dont believe he's "all that great", and im sure thats one of the factors hindering me from moving forward in my faith.

I love realizing things like this.

Someone bigger. Someone better. On MY SIDE? thats mindblowing. Why me. but he chose me. and he has chosen you too. Its up to you whether or not you'll accept his offer.